I'm not as smart as my kids...

Things have been hectic here at Bechtold Manor.  Zach has kicked off his busiest time of year and I'm having to get used to many nights of putting the kids to bed by myself.  I'm okay with it though, at least I know he will be here in the morning. :)

Baby Girl Bechtold is baking well, practicing her kicks and punches on my internal organs like a boss.  I have found that with baby number 3 I'm not as impatient as I was with the other two.  I need the next few months to prepare us all for her arrival.  As I was folding laundry yesterday I was hit with the realization that I will soon be doing laundry for five people.  Yikes!

We told Zoe that if she didn't mind switching bedrooms to the guest room that we would redecorate with paint, new furniture, and new bedding.  We started with the painting last week and she loves it.  We still have a long way to go but we are getting there little by little.

I cant get over how much my kids have grown this past month or so, both physically and mentally.  I like to think God is helping them to prepare for the little one to come, for both of them to be older siblings again.  They make me so proud.

For Christmas Zach and I gave Zoe a new "big girl" Bible.  We chose to get one that she could grow with so we opted not to go with a child's Bible.  The one she got is one I would give my youth students at church.  We knew that it would be a while before she would grow to appreciate the gift but we still wanted to get it for her.  The other night I went to tuck her in to bed and saw the Bible laying beside her.  I picked it up and noticed the ribbon marker had moved.  She said, "That's where I am in reading it."  Now, Zoe is five years old.  She is a pretty good little reader, but, let's be honest, she's not that fluent, especially when it come to reading Leviticus.  However, I love that she spends some time every evening "reading" her new Bible.  What a great habit to get into.

Once again I feel shamed by my children.  Here's my sweet girl, faced with so many new changes, who is going, on her own accord, into the Word.  I know she's not getting much as far as reading goes, but I also know God has His hand on her.  With all the busyness and chaos that has consumed our world lately, and will continue to for the weeks and months to come, I have forgotten at times to go to Him who can deliver peace, understanding, and wisdom.  I go to bed each night and, instead of grabbing my Bible, I reach for another book, the remote control, or the laptop.  I need to be more like my kids.

Here's another little reminder, that no matter how grown up we may feel we are, there is always something we can learn from those around us.

May you see those who can teach you, no matter their age...

My sweet girl.

Gut check...

The other day I took the kids to the doctor for Noah's well-visit.  On the "well" side of the waiting area there was one other mom and her daughter who appeared to be around three years old.  My kids immediately went for the basket of books and each brought me one to read, so we took turns.  I noticed that little girl was interested in the story so I read a little louder, drawing an annoyed glance from her mother.  The girl then went and got a book and took it to her mother, who this entire time was busy on her phone.  The mother read one page and went back to doing whatever it was on her phone.  The little girl just sat there with the open book in her hands looking at her mother until the nurse called them back.  No lie, it kinda broke my heart.

I will be the first to acknowledge that I have used technology to escape the pressures of motherhood.  There are times I get a little annoyed at my kids for demanding something of me when, frankly, I just want to check facebook, read this article, check a score, etc.  Then I get a reality check and feel shame for placing all those things, which are so unimportant, before the needs of my family.  What are we teaching our kids?

I came across an article claiming that American kids are found to be the most spoiled kids in the world.  No shock there.  It's easy to see that kids today are completely overindulged and spoiled.  What shocked me, and perhaps it shouldn't of, was that in the comments to this article I guestimate that 9 out of 10 commenters, mainly mothers, admitted that they spoiled their children.  They also admitted that they will continue to spoil their kids.  One commenter passed judgment on another saying that anyone giving their three year old chores was cruel.  Another stated that the guilt she felt for working long hours led to her spoiling her child and buying her whatever she wanted.

Wow people! What values we are teaching our children!  Not only do we see what we are doing is wrong, we continue to do it!  There is always a way we can justify our behavoir.   That justification we do just inhibits us from bettering ourselves and being better examples for the kids.

There are many directions I could go with this but I'll stop there.  I think you get what I'm trying to say.  In short, give your kids what really matters, you.  When they grow up and (hopefully) leave your home, they will not be lamenting over the lack of gifts, toys, gadgets they received as a child.  Instead, they will realize how very blessed they were to have you as a parent.

Blessings to you and yours today....I'm going to go enjoy mine now...

Here is a link to the blog that took me to the above referenced article.

Whatcha Gonna Do?

Hello all!  Did you guys get the memo? It's summer time!! Yesterday was Zoe's last day of preschool.  It was a day of fun in the sun and wind for water day!

Ready to go! 

Noah hops in for the photo op.

Noah's last day was the day before.  I love these kids.  I can't believe how much they have grown and learned over these months.

Last night after the kids were put to bed Zach and I went to our room and watched some Baseball Tonight.  After a while I went to check on the kids and found Noah awake and very happy about it.  I picked him up and took him to our room and Zach and I spent a while just enjoying our son.  It was blissful.  We had tickle wars, we laid together and watched "b-ball", and we laughed a lot.  I have a great family.

This late night experience reminds me that enjoying time together as a family doesn't have to be some grand gesture.  As we are getting geared up for the summer and I am wondering how to keep my sanity with trying to keep the kids entertained until school starts up, it's good to remember that we can have fun and not spend any money or plan huge activities.

On that note, I would love to hear any ideas or tips for summer activities.  What are your plans for the vacation months?

May you all see your blessings in everything you do.



I got the joy, joy, joy...somewhere I'm sure...

I usually write when I find myself dwelling on a certain subject or make an observation that I feel bears recording.  It's more of a therapeutic exercise than an expectation that someone reads my thoughts and gains anything from it (though it's a bonus, for sure).  I haven't written lately though because I haven't had the time or energy to dwell on anything but living.  I know we all get that way.  We become consumed with living and we forget to enjoy our life. 

But, isn't it funny, that when I try and look back over the past week or so I can't recall anything that kept me from enjoying life, or should I say, not an activity or event that kept me from finding my joy.  Joy is always there, a quality of life that, for some, is harder to recognize than some other quality.  I'm one of those people.  This may come as a shock to some of you (does sarcasm relay in print?) but I am a pessimist.  In fact, I believe I have spoken before about this trait of mine I have to endure.  It's a part of who I am that I have prayed to have changed.  I would LOVE to be a natural optimist, someone who goes through life with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  I am SO not that person.  I am a sarcastic, realist/pessimist, that has to make a continual effort to plaster that smile on my face (not always a successful effort, mind you).  So, I can choose to love myself as myself, trying to make positive changes in who I am, or I can choose to dislike who I am and therefore, dislike my life.  I choose the former.  I am who I am.

Life has been difficult lately.  There hasn't been that catalyst or a life-altering event that has occurred.  Just life and all it's toils.  I have two beautiful children that have very strong personalities and are in stages of their development that can make reasoning with them more difficult than usual.  We, as parents, have had to take a step back and reevaluate how we are choosing to handle those difficult situations and make some changes.  This parenting thing is all about adjustments, don't you agree?

We will get through this time, we already are on the uphill side of things, and life will be full of joy again.  I know that, I have faith in that.  Sometimes we just need a little reminder...

Blessings to you on this day.

What's your calling?

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?  My precious Zoe has started a list of her future careers that keeps getting longer and longer.  To name just a few, she wants to be a superhero, a princess, an artist, a teacher, and a veternarian, among other things.  When I was little I loved to read.  The greatest of days were library days.  A trip to the mall without a stop at the bookstore was just torture.  The local used bookstore was my sanctuary.  I dreamt of becoming an author, penning my own books someday.  Unfortunately for me it became clear quite early that my talents did not lean that way.  I was destined to be a lover of books but not a maker of books. 

Once I came to accept this fact I decided to become an elementary school teacher.   That was going to be my future.  Then I went to college where I went to observe my first class of first graders and left a few hours later with a migraine.  I remember thinking with horror, "There is no way I could do this day after day."  And with one afternoon my future was suddenly unclear.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I tried several majors, the last being religion.  I enjoyed the learning part but when faced with deciding what path to take after graduation nothing seemed appealing.  Despite encouragement from others I knew the path to seminary was not for me.  Certainly I could have made a decent career out of something but my heart would not be in it.

For years I floated from one area to the next, working in medical offices and a law office, even working in the school system as an aide to determine if maybe I could be a teacher after all.  There were facets of all my jobs that appealed to me and other parts that I hated.  I still hadn't found my calling.

Until, that is, we moved to New Boston and we were unable to secure child care. Suddenly I was thrust into the role of stay-at-home mom.  It was difficult and trying and Zoe and I had to learn how to be around each other all the time.   I got an insight into what life will be like with my daughter when she becomes a teenager (oh my!) and a balance had to be found.  After a few months though life became easier and here we are, more than a year later, and I love what I do.  Sure, it's a career choice that makes certain things more difficult, we don't have money to blow and I don't have much time that I am around adults, but I wouldn't trade this time with my children for anything.

I know that eventually I will once again be forced into the real world of working people and no, I'm no closer now to knowing what I want to do, but I have found my calling.  I am meant to be a mother.  My kids are not my identity but right now I know, without a doubt, that the most important thing I can do is be there for them.  I know that's probably not true for everyone, but it is for me. 

Now, having said all that, I would love to return to school.  I think studying history would be great and, after much research, I believe I could find a job that I could really enjoy.  For now, however, I am going to enjoy every moment that I can in the career I am so blessed to have.

Now, for an update on what's happening over here at Bechtold Manor:

Zach has been very busy, running a middle school camp a couple weeks back, and leaving Sunday for a week long mission trip to Denver.  There have been many late nights for him.  Thursday we headed up to Sacramento, just down the road from Cloudcroft, for a one night getaway in the mountains.  It snowed on us the entire time but it was so wonderful and relaxing.  We are already looking forward to our next visit up there.

Pretty serene, don't you agree?

On Friday Erin came to visit on her spring break.  We had so much fun shopping, having Friend's marathons and talking.  My parents are planning to come at Easter and we are so excited.  I have been referred by my chiropracter to physical therapy for my back in hopes that I can find relief that way but because of Zach's busy schedule (someone has to watch the kids after all) I have not been able to go.  I know my limits physically and that has helped somewhat. 

Life is good and God is great.  Blessings to you all.

Desperately Seeking Sanity...

There's no doubt that I love my children.  However, there are days where it takes extra effort to enjoy them.  Anyone with me?

I know that Zach and I are hard on the kids.  We expect a lot from them and I find myself constantly having to remind myself of their ages.  Zoe is four, she requires some slack.  I also know that they are capable of a lot and without being pushed to be better versions of themselves, they will never realize their full potential.  Some of you may be thinking right now, "Gee, that's harsh," and you may be right.  However, I want my kids to be polite, helpful, loving children with a servant's heart and without pushing them towards that, it will not happen.

That being said, they aren't perfect.  Noah has apparently entered the "terrible two" stage prematurely and some days are extremely trying.  This little man has a fury that can not be equaled, except maybe by Hulk himself.  I never quite know these days what will incur his wrath, but when it happens, hold on tight.  Zoe would throw fits but she was never the one to throw herself on the ground and flail about, without care to who or what may be in striking distance, so this is new territory for us.  So, yes, there are days, that even though I love that I am able to stay at home with my kids, I long for someone to come and relieve me of my job.  Lately, Zach has been away more than usual and I have been about to pull my hair out.  There have been moments that I definitely feel my sanity ebbing and have to remove myself from my kids company.

So, with all of these trying times I realize that I have to make the effort to enjoy being around my loving children.  For example, the other night Zach was once again absent from our home, leaving me the task of feeding, bathing and getting the children ready for bed.  Lately, bed time has taken on a new level of effort, and frankly, I was tired of the battle. I decided to just let the kids entertain each other and wear one another out, until they were just so exhausted they begged to be put to bed (snigger).  What ensued was one of the more entertaining evenings I have ever experienced with my children.  Zoe took it upon herself to teach her brother some of her favorite songs (she really is a great big sister) and from there, it became quite the little production.  They sang, they danced, they dressed up...pure hilarity.  At one point, Zoe came out with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and brandishing a hanger saying,"I have a sword and a cape. I'm SHEERA!"  If you feel so inclined you are welcome to wander over to my facebook page and watch the video snippet I caught of this evening.

Yes, parenting is hard, especially with little ones.  There will be days that make you question this notion of procreating.  There will be moments when you would be willing to give a weeks income for someone to please give you a few hours of quite alone time.  And there will be days that you ask your husband, with only a hint of jest, if you could list your son for sale on Craigslist.  In those moments I suggest to you to make the effort to put down those tasks you are constantly being interrupted from, and simply enjoy your little bundles.  It may take some effort but in the end it will be truly rewarding.

Praying you see your blessings today.

Making Decisions...

Happy day to you all.  I just got back from a trek to Lowe's to get paint samples.  I'm actually quite excited to put a little color on the walls and making this house more homey.  We are only painting one wall though.  The owners painted one wall in the living room a pale green color and that has got to go.  I also want to paint the trim because I'm not a fan of trim being the same color as the walls. Too matchy matchy.

Zach has been getting into the swing of things with his new job.  He had his first Wesley event last night, will have a meeting tonight, and a weekend retreat starting tomorrow. Busy is the word right now.

I have been trying to decide whether to try and get a job or to continue to stay home with the kids.  I would rather not have to work of course but we could definitely use the money.  I have said lots of prayers about this situation and will continue to have faith that God will open doors or close doors and put me in the situation I need to be in.

I have also been babysitting a friend's daughter this week.  She is Zoe's age and they can be the best of friends one moment and mortal enemies the next.  It's been...fun?? Yeah, don't really know what word would be appropriate to describe that situation.  One thing is for sure, Mamma is fixin' to drop the hammer, so to speak.  You may want to pause now and say a prayer for the kids. :) (Update: just put both kids in timeout)

It's moments like we have had this week with Zoe that I have to remind myself of the good moments as a parent in order to keep my sanity (and perhaps preventing performing any illegal actions).  Last weekend Zach and I instigated a "family movie night."  We feel finally that Zoe is old enough that we can do things like that.  First we had supper: fried porkchops and parmesan potatoes for us (who needs that silly green stuff on their plates) and a sandwich for Zoe.  Then bath time while Zach went to Caliche's for dessert (frozen custard.. YUM).  Then Zoe, Zach and I piled in our bed with our frozen treats to watch Megamind (poor Noah had to miss out as he was sleeping).  It was a nice evening that we will try to repeat next weekend when Zach is back in town. Many thanks to Red Box for furnishing the movie.

Anyway, I guess it would be prudent for me to get up and go see what is causing the current disaster in Zoe's room...Sigh...

This is the stuff...

This is a song by Francesca Battestelli (sp) that has been running laps in my head for the past several day. If you haven't heard it I recommend you youtube it, it's wonderful and wraps up most of our lives in a nice little song.

Zach, Zoe and I have been working most of the day in the heat of summer in the garage preparing for a garage sale tomorrow...or rather Zach and I have been working and Zoe has been running around picking things up and asking about a million questions, give or take a few. Who's idea was it to move to another state again?? Our plan is to get rid of enough stuff that everything will fit onto the moving truck and our vehicles and not have to rent another trailer. We shall see...

I woke up this morning with a goal to go the entire day without raising my voice at one or both of my children (although to be honest, Noah rarely incurs my wrath). So far so good though it has been a challenge at moments. Four year olds - can't live with them, and nobody else wants them...

So, that's today in a nutshell, or rather a nut house, as it seems at the moment...anyone want to come over and help me build a fort out of my boxes??

Sprinkles of thought...

Whew, what a day today has been. Noah was fussier than usual today. He has worn me out. Zoe has the listening skills of a...well, I guess a 3 year old...I'm pretty sure I sound like the grown ups on Charlie Brown to her.

I have been working hard lately on being positive and energetic. For so many months now I have had a hard time just physically getting out of bed in the morning. I'm finally feeling something akin to being human again.

Tonight Zach is at a Methodist Men function. He is beginning his busiest time of the year now and I'm not so excited. However, just knowing that I am feeling so much better makes his being gone so much easier to handle.

I'm gearing up for Easter and Zoe's birthday. This will be a different birthday for Zoe and I'm a little concerned about how she will handle things. She has this idealized idea of what birthdays are from friends and tv and she's not going to have anything like that. She has asked for about a million things for her birthday and we have had several discussions that she can not and will not get everything she asks for. She really knows how to lay on the guilt, even at her young age.

Trying everyday to be the best Me that I can be, the best mother, wife, daughter, sister and child of God...a constant struggle.

Praising God today for my loving husband, my beautiful kids, and reliable internet :) amongst other things of course.