Greetings from Big Sky Country

It's been a long while since I last wrote and it's been almost as long since we moved across country to our new home in Montana.  So much about our lives have changed in such a short amount of time, that the abruptness of our new life has stunned me into a writer's block. 

I've been struck at how quickly life can change.  It's never easy.  Thankfully, this new path we are on, we feel 100% called to, called to Montana, called to this place, called to this new ministry.  That belief has made things easier. 

We love this new home.  It's different here, and not in a bad way.  So much of what I have longed for can be found in this small, charming town.  I finally feel like my kids are able to enjoy aspects of my childhood that I thought they'd forever miss out on.  The kids have settled in nicely, enjoying school, making friends, getting involved in activities.   It feels...settled.

It hasn't been completely easy.  We are a long way off from anything that used to be familiar.  There was a time that I would expect to see someone I knew when I went to a local store, only to be reminded that I didn't know anyone for thousands of miles.  That's a very lonely feeling.  There were many days where I lingered at our new house, unpacking boxes, settling our belongings, and would be overcome with homesickness.  If only I could have gone "home" for a weekend, I thought, just a couple of days with loved ones...

It's been six months since our rushed move north.  We have experienced so much.  We saw two new states that none of us had seen before.  We drove into a new town, up to a new house, that we had only seen in a few pictures.  We experienced the loneliness of not seeing family for many months.  We have seen scenes from this country that take your breath away with it's grandness and beauty, experiencing nature in a new and amazing way.  We have lived through the worst winter (and still not over we hear) that we have ever imagined.  We have made many new relationships, been embraced by three church congregations in three different towns.  We have also lost friends we thought we had, people from previous churches who refused to even say goodbye to us before we left town.  We have experienced the heart ache of being misunderstood.  We have seen the confusion in our children's eyes as they struggled to understand why there were being discarded.

It's never easy. 

Being in this profession, and living this life, we expect challenges.  We know change will be coming around the bend.  We know, never to get too comfortable.  We also know that this is a life with great reward.

For know we can say, we are home.  We are where we belong.  We know this part of our path is true, and good, and exactly where we are supposed to be.  We know who loves us, and we know Him who loves us most.  It may never be easy, but it is definitely worth it. 

We are living our adventure. 

Growing pains

I'd like to tell you a story.  Before I begin, however, let me give you some background information.

We have been living in our new town, with Zach serving at his new church since the end of June.  In that time, there has been lots of changes and upheaval for our family.  Finding a routine for the kids and I to get in to has been a challenge, and continues to be more than four months into this new life.  Sundays have proven to be the most challenging part of finding our new normal.  There are three services that Zach must be at.  He leaves our house often before 7:00 on Sunday mornings.  Two services are held at one church, one right after the other, with the third being held at another church, in another town, more than twenty minutes away.  What is a preacher's wife and family to do?  Most weeks I try to make it to two of those services, one in each church, though there are times that I just don't have it in me to sit through two services with my three kids so I choose one.  Then of course, there's always the one service, the earliest one, that I have only been to a few times.

Now, on to the story and the purpose of this post:

Not too long ago the kids and I got up to go to the earliest service, the one we have only been to on occasion.  I sat in the front, with the three kids.  I tried to smile at those around me and most people wouldn't even meet my eye.  That's okay, it's early, most of these people have no clue who I am.  The kids are tired, cranky, hot and uncomfortable.  The youngest one is crawling all over me, fidgeting to stay awake, but really wanting to go to sleep.  We make it to the end of the service and I work on gathering the water bottles, church bag, my purse, and loose bulletins.  An older woman walks up to us, she's the first one to talk to us since we walked in the front door.  She goes right up to Noah, who has been upset because of something his sister did or said, and asks him why he didn't stand during the last song, saying, "Is there something wrong with you?"

Noah immediately backs away from her, this stranger whom he has never met.  My six year old has no idea how to respond to this question and chooses to say nothing instead.  The lady glances at me for the first time, asks if its our first visit here and then offers the kids some candy.  I left flabbergasted.  I managed to make it to my car before I broke down into tears.  I went home depressed and feeling like I am the worst mom alive, the worst preacher's wife, a failure.

Now, I understand that I am a sensitive person.  I also admit to reading into things, intentions that weren't ever there.  However, I also know that had I been a visitor I would never go back to that church because of how my kids and I were treated, because of how a few people made me feel, whatever their true intentions were.

I know a lot of my readers are church goers, many of you are leaders in your congregation.  I am begging you to think about how you treat young families, visitors, and anyone else.  Think about how you go about greeting people, how you handle those people who may be "doing it wrong."

I have written before about having kids in church (you can see those here and here).  It's hard, whether you have one or five.  We are trying to teach our kid how to behave in an environment that is often unforgiving of mistakes or missteps.  Our kids are expected to sit quietly, to understand the traditions and routines, to be still, and to be happy.  How are they expected to learn anything without messing up on occasion?

Let me tell you another story:

Another Sunday, and another service finds us once again sitting on the front row, belongings strewn about, but this time we are in another sanctuary, surrounded by different people.  My kids are happy and this creates a new set of challenges.  They want to play, they want to talk, they want to run up and give their daddy a hug.  Ryann, the three year old wants to dance to the music.  Her dress has a twirly skirt and that's amazing and doesn't everyone want to see?  I am exhausted, and frustrated, and once again feeling like I'm failing.  The end of the service comes and I try to gather my wits and belongings without crumbling.  An older woman comes up to me.  Great. Here we go again.  She puts a hand on my arm and says, "I want you to know that we love seeing your kids up here.  I know it can be frustrating for you, but we love it. You are doing a good job of handling them by yourself."

Friends, this is love.  This is what will bring people back, bring people into a relationship.  There was no judgement, just encouragement.

Being a parent is hard.  Being a parent who tries to bring their family to church is hard.  Young families today have so much vying for their attention and time.  Often both parents work full time jobs and Sundays may be the only time for families to spend together.  For them to come spend an hour or more at church is an achievement in itself.  It means they are there because they want to be, whatever reason that may be.  They will often want to keep their family together during that hour of worship, for good reason.  However, there's a good chance that their younger ones are still learning about what church is, and how to behave.  Their parents are likely still learning about how to best handle their little ones while figuring everything out.  Be kind. Be encouraging.  Be helpful.  Love.  Think about your words before you offer any kind of observation or "helpful" advice.  Think about how your words, whatever their intention, may sound to an overwhelmed mother or father.  Think about how your criticisms may sound to that visitor, who doesn't understand or know about "how we do things."  If we expect to have a church in thirty years, we need to practice loving and encouraging more, and criticizing less.

Thoughts? I'd love to hear from you.

'Cause He's My Best Friend...

Today, Zach and I celebrate eleven years of marriage.  We are celebrating separately today because Zach is out of town and wont be back until tomorrow.  This week I have been reflecting over the last eleven years of married life and the two years that lead up to our wedding and would like to share some of those reflections with you, if you'll indulge me.

Anniversary picture from last year.

Zach and I met at church.  A friend from my McMurry days was working as Youth Director at my home church when I moved back to Plainview.  It was a difficult time in my life and I was feeling very lost and alone.  Tyson, my McM pal, invited me to come help out with the youth group.  I debated whether or not to go because, well, I was scared.  Teenagers? Scary! But, I was lonely enough that I went.  I met Zach that first night.  He was so young and weird, he came and sat beside me right away and made me feel welcome.  He's gifted like that.

Just a couple of kids, working with some kids.

The next year had us working together and forming a friendship.  I never really thought about dating him, he was so young, we would never be more than just friends.  However, as the months went on, and as we continued in ministry together, I saw more in him.  We didn't always agree but he always listened to me.  He was very immature but I saw growth.  We didn't have a lot in common, but we always had fun together.  Finally, I decided to let the age difference not be an issue and we started dating on July 4, 2004.

Our dating life had some up and downs but within a few months I knew he was it for me.  I was done looking for Mr. Right,I had found him in Zach.  We talked about marriage for months before he finally popped the question a year into dating on July 4, 2005.  He took me for a picnic lunch at the place we first met, the church, and asked me to marry him.  It was perfect.

Our first "couple" pic

Not getting any younger we decided to not have a long engagement and set our wedding date for only two months away, before Zach got far into his semester of school.  It was a stressful two months but our wedding was wonderful.  So many friends and family came to help us celebrate.  We had a very simple ceremony, again, in the place we met, followed by a cookout at my aunt and uncles house.  It was just what I wanted and I am so grateful for the hard work our families put in to help us carry it off.

We didn't have a ton of money so we honeymooned in Santa Fe for a couple of days before we had to return to work and school.  So begins married life.

Hanging out in Santa Fe with my 20 year old husband.

That first year of marriage was so hard.  We were trying to figure out what being married really meant.  We had to learn to put each other first, above everyone else.  We had to learn to communicate.  I'll be honest, there were moments that first year that I thought about calling it quits.  There were moments that we almost let our differences break us.

First Christmas as a married couple.

A couple of weeks after our fist anniversary I became pregnant with Zoe.  With that pregnancy came even more obstacles we had to cross.  Money, house, jobs, church, family, so many things that could have gotten in the way had we let it.  I prayed constantly that the Lord would prepare Zach to be a dad, worried that at just 22 he wouldn't want the job.  We were still working at figuring things out as a couple, would we be able to figure things out as parents?

He's the best dad.

It wasn't easy, but we figured it out.  We went the next year after Zoe was born, fumbling along best we could.  Things were hard and again, I had doubts.  The turning point happened one Sunday in May a year after Zoe was born.  I found myself in our bedroom, alone and fuming about something Zach had done.  I was angry and hurt and couldn't believe he was just going to let me be angry and hurt alone.  Do you know what I did?  I sucked it up, got out of bed, and calmly as I could, I confronted Zach.  I told him that I was hurt and why I was mad.  We talked about it.  I discovered that he wasn't aware of the transgression that had so upset me.  He apologized and we talked for hours after that.  I learned in that moment, that if I wanted to have a marriage with him that I had to humble myself and communicate my feelings to him instead of allowing them to build up and fester inside of me.  That was a game changer.

Since then many things have happened in our lives, many bad, so much more great.  We have grown together, built a family together, and continued in ministry together.  Zach, this kid I thought was too young for me, has taught me so much.  He's taught me to love baseball, to love generously (although he's still way better at it), to trust always, and to forgive earnestly.  We still have hard times, moments that we struggle through, moments of doubt, but because we are able to continue to enter into conversation together, to share those feelings, we have been able to persevere.

Eleven years.  It's not a huge amount, but, I know, without a doubt it will continue.  We have a lifetime ahead of us, and I am certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that we will share it together.  You see, even though I know it wont always be easy, it is so worth it to put in the hard work to ensure we have as healthy a relationship as possible.  I know that our kids will grow up believing in true love, because we have shown them what that looks like.

It looks like this.

Taking control

As any mother of more than one child can attest to, your kids arguing with one another can be a major issue in your household.  If my oldest two children are in the same place for more than a minute, they are arguing.  Mostly it stems from my seven year old believing she knows everything and my four year old saying things just to make her mad.  I am constantly reminding Zoe that she cant control what others do, she can only control her reaction.  In frustration I'll lament,  "Why can't you just let it go?"  Obviously the sky isn't green, he's just saying that because he knows it makes her mad.  That's what little brothers do.  She has to be right, she has to set him straight, and the arguing continues until there are tears or I step in to separate them.

It's easy to get my mom voice and lecture my children about letting go of the little things and taking control of our own reactions.  It comes naturally to me to sit my daughter down and remind her that being right isn't the most important thing we can do.  When it comes to living what I teach, that's another matter.

I've been slapped by the realization that I have let certain people steal my joy.  I has hit with daunting clarity recently at a Bible Study that I have held on to criticisms I have received in the past, in some cases, the distant past, and it has colored the perception I have of myself and my ability to do certain things.  I have allowed those negative people and thoughts to define a part of who I am, or, at the very least, of who I think I am.  I have let my desire to be right in some instances damage my relationships with certain people.  I have done that, no body else. 

With new insight comes a new challenge.   How do I let go of years of hanging on to my bitterness?  How do I truly forgive, down in my heart, where it counts?  How do I refuse to let other people define me?

Friends, I honestly don't know, but I'm working on it.  Something that has helped me in ways I would never of guessed is to intentionally focus on the good in others.  I'm talking, everyone I come into contact with.  I try to think of something I admire about that person with every encounter.  By seeing something positive in other people, I'm more easily able to see the positive things within myself.  By focusing on a person's good quality, I'm less likely to get annoyed by the little things.  By trying to enjoy the presence of those I come into contact with, I find it easier to put myself into their shoes, to understand why they may say or do hurtful things.  By doing each of these things, I find it easier, in most cases, to voice my opinion without major conflict arising over differences.

My family, with Zach's guidance, has made a mantra of "Love God, Love others, reach out."  I remind my children that when we show love to others, especially those who annoy us or hurt us, we are truly showing love to God.  It's so hard sometimes, and sometimes it's even harder to love ourselves.  

I can not control others.  I can only control myself.  It's a daily challenge, one that I fail at constantly, but I pray daily to see change.  I pray that by through my actions, I am teaching my children what it means to LOVE, and that I someday, I can honestly say that I practice what I preach.

 I would love to hear from you on this topic.  

Ramblings of a Simple Mom

For those of you who know me, and for those of you who have read this blog before, you probably know that I have pretty definite opinions on a lot of things.  Sometimes my opinions are appreciated, most of the time they are not.  I'm slowly learning to become okay with that, working hard to keep my mouth shut most of the time.

I'm also a mom. And a Christian. And, for several years, I was an employee in the church.  You put all three of those together and it creates a combination of experiences that make it hard for me to keep my mouth shut in certain areas.  


It's difficult being a parent.  Social media has made it more difficult.  I constantly see posts from other moms, on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, or what have you, with activities they are doing with their child, or are planning to do with their child.  I have been guilty of thinking to myself, "I'm a terrible mother.  Most days we just are trying to make it to bedtime without loosing it."  I don't believe I'm alone in that.  The other day I came across a post on Facebook that was something like "50 activities to keep your 1 year old entertained."  My first thought was "I'm supposed to be entertaining my one-year old?"  This thought was followed by a flash of mom guilt.  Then I looked at my baby, toddling around the house, pulling all the magnets off the refrigerator, and decided she was doing a pretty good job entertaining herself.

It's considered a bad word in our house to say that you are "bored."  When I was growing up, my mom would tell us "Only boring people get bored."  When my seven year old uses that word, which she has learned to not use it often, I immediately give her all sorts of ideas of things she can do to occupy her time: clean her room, read a book, sweep the floors, etc.

When I see posts like the one I referenced above, it frustrates me.  What is with our culture that makes us feel like we need to entertain our kids all the time?  So many kids are growing up, not knowing how to play, to explore, to sit quietly.  As I type this, my four year old is in his room, quietly coloring.  Occasionally we will do a special little project, but I love that he can spend a day entertaining himself.  No mom guilt here.

It's okay for our children to learn to sit quietly.  I posted a link on Facebook this morning to a post entitled "Sunday School is killing the church."  This post discussed the danger of having children in a service separate from the adults, never learning what it means to be a part of the Body.  I have always felt very strongly about this topic.  As a mom, I want my kids there beside me.  I want them to learn the liturgy, to sit still, to listen, things that many of our young adults struggle with.  They will learn, they will form opinions, and hopefully, when they are older, participating in church will be a part of their lifestyle.  Hopefully, they will also learn, that church can be fun, at times, and those times that may not be labeled as "fun" can be very fulfilling.

Thanks for sticking with me through my ramblings.  May you find joy in the simple things.

Life as we know it.

It's been a while since I've made the time to sit down and blog, but for good reason.  We have been in our new home for about 3 weeks now.  We are, for the most part, settled in and adjusting to this new place.  We get asked often how we are enjoying being here, and I can honestly say we love it!  The new church we are at has gone above and beyond to make us feel welcomed.  The entire first week we were here we had meals provided for us.  I didn't even go grocery shopping until the fourth day we were here!  Yes, life is pretty good here and I am very much looking forward to see what the future holds for us.

On a related note, let me tell you all what happened to me yesterday.  From the beginning:

As any mother can attest, Sunday's can be hard.  I can't, for the life of me, get all five of us in a routine that makes getting ready for church easier.  I try very hard to go the entire morning not raising my voice, but I just don't always make it.  Why do the kids move so slow?  Where do all the shoes disappear to on Sunday mornings?  Why does that cowlick pick Sundays to be the most stubborn and pronounced?  The struggle is real, folks.  Regardless, we did make it out the door and to church on time for the kids to go to Sunday school, with little to no permanent scarring.

For worship we enjoy having our kids sit with us.  We feel it helps to teach the kids that it's okay and necessary to learn to sit still and quietly.  Zach took part in the service so I sat with our kids alone.  At one point, Ryann hit her head on the pew and began crying.  I told the other two to stay there and I got up to take her out.  I am almost to the back of the sanctuary when I realize Noah has tagged along.  Somehow, within the 2.5 seconds I left them, his sister had found a way to seriously offend him.  Sigh.  When the closing song begins, Noah, Ryann and I make our way back to our seat.  Jeez, who was sitting here?  Animal crackers strewn about, colors on the floor, two bulletins seemed to have multiplied to countless pieces of paper.  Sigh, again.

With Zoe's help we get everything picked up and gathered.  I grab my purse, Ryanns diaper bag, the church bag, and the baby, and head out to the new Prayer Garden where we were having a blessing and dedication along with taking communion.  Again, Zach is participating in this service so I stand there, in the sun, with my arms full of the above mentioned items.  The baby is hot, tired, hungry (despite the number of animal crackers she partially consumed during church) and is squirming to be put down.  Noah keeps wanting to stand with his Daddy in the front.  Zoe is bored and restless.  Double sigh.

Then, do you know what happened?  This sweet older woman, whom I'm sure I've met but can't remember her face in the sea of faces I've encountered these past few weeks, witnessed my plight from across the garden and made her way to me.  "Can I please help you by holding your purse and bags for you?"  I'm not sure what she thought of my expression, but I felt overwhelmed with relief and gratefulness. "YES!" I practically shouted it.  "Thank you soooo much."  She held my belongings, literally taking a burden from my shoulders, allowing me to enjoy the moment a bit more, to take communion without struggling.

One small, little gesture.  It meant so much to me.

Being part of the church for most of my life, I have heard it countless times: "How can we get young families in the church? How do we reach the millennials?"

Here's my answer:  I couldn't care less about the type of music you play, the clothing your congregants wear, the type of seating, if the pastor robes up or not.  I have enough struggles and worries to let those types of things bother me.  I want to be a part of a place that shows me and others the Love of Christ.  If you want to get young, busy, stressed out families in your church, then love them.  Easy as that.  If you see a young mother struggling with her kids, offer to help. Say something encouraging.  Love her.  If you know a single mother who worries about her car making it to work, to school, to the babysitters, then fix it for her.  Take away that burden.  Replace it with love.

I've been accused in the past of looking unapproachable.  It angers and saddens me when I've heard these comments, always from people I've gone to church with, because I want to ask them, when you see me looking like that, is Zach there? Do I have kids hanging off me?  Have you given any thought to what may have happened in our home, just to get us there?  I'm counting it a victory to just be here sometimes, I'm sorry if I don't appear happy and carefree all the time.

So, moral of the story and of this rant, be aware of what other people may be going through.  Offer to help, even if it's a small, little gesture.  Even a word of encouragement or understanding can go a long way to show other's what LOVE means.

Let Me Tell You a Story...

Today was much like most of our days lately.  Not great, not terrible, just another day to get through.  Zoe had art after school, which is nice for us because the fights with her brother were delayed an hour.  When Zach brought her home I ask the standard question: "How was your day at school," followed by "what color did you get on?"  Once again my little talker got in trouble for gabbing when she wasn't supposed to.  It's an affliction I suppose.  Not one that I have but she comes by it honestly.  I try really hard not to get too upset with her.  Mentally, I'm counting down the minutes until I can put them all to bed and relax in bed with a cup of tea and a book.

Feed the kids.  Clean the kids.  Put Squishy to bed.  Read Noah a story and put him to bed.  Next comes Zoe.

I find her in her room laying in bed reading a "Jack and Annie" book as she calls them.  Specifically she's reading Magic Tree House No. 49.  "Zoe, is that the same book that your daddy and I read to you?"

She responds, "Yes, I'm reading it again.  Will you read some to me?"

I agree to read to her but only if she agrees to reading a different book.  Going to her shelf I pick up the first book I bought her, back when I was still pregnant and had recently discovered we were having a girl.  I'd been waiting for her to be ready to read this book, as it has always been my favorite.

"What about this one? It's called, The Secret Garden."

With eagerness, she bounced beside me as I showed her the cover and turned to the first page.  As I read she would ask questions: "What's a veranda? What is cholera? What does it mean by a 'sour expression?'"

Somewhere around page two Noah appears at the foot of the bed, laying quietly as I read.  We get to the end of the first chapter.  More questions follow, this time inquiring about the future of little Mary and why is the book called "Secret Garden?"

Finally I am able to shepherd Noah back to bed and when I return to check on Zoe I find her once again with her "Jack and Annie" book open in her lap.  "I just want to read a little while."

Thirty minutes later I return to find her in much the same way and hear, "Just one more page!"  Okay.  Who am I to say no to that?  When she is finished she comes to me.  "I read two chapters tonight," she explains.  "Books are my favorite thing.  You must take care of them."

Yes!  This is my daughter after all!  When I am finally able to get her in bed I sat quietly, book in my hand, beaming with pride.  Maybe "pride" isn't the right word.  It's more like "Love."  I've always loved Zoe.  I always will.  Seeing her find joy in something I love, like books, just makes it that much greater, if that's possible.

My little girl is growing up.  Most of the time, that thought makes my chest tighten as I mentally try to slow time, but moments like tonight make me excited to see the woman my daughter will become.

We all have to deal somehow...

Today was a long day.  It included 3 infants, a crazy three year old, a dog with a foot injury and inability to control his bladder completely, and later, a very excited six year old who was simply bursting to relay to anyone and everyone how completely amazing her day was, oh, about twelve thousand times.  Not a bad day, just a very long one.  I had a conversation with my mother earlier that went like this:

Mom: Your sister got to go home at 2:00 today (because of weather, she's a school teacher).
Me: Yes, I saw that. I considered texting her to say that I got to be home all day but thought she wouldn't appreciate it.
Mom: Probably not.
Me: Although, I imagine that if she spent a few days here taking care of babies she would be eager to return to work.
Mom: She probably would.  I know I would.

Gee...thanks mom.  To be fair, I know my life isn't ideal for many.  That may be why I know so few stay-at-home moms.  It's hard, and not just financially.  I recently read an article about the hardships of staying home all the time.  You can find it here.  What I got from this piece is this: We are trying so hard to be the perfect wife/mother that when we fail, or feel we fail, especially when comparing ourselves to others, we come down so hard on ourselves.  Yes, there are so many blessings to this lifestyle, but the hardships are very real and sometimes we need help, in whatever form we can find.

Zach was home most of the day today, doing homework and getting ready for a banquet tonight at the Wesley.  He was a great help, holding a baby when I just didn't have enough hands or secure places to place one.  Before he left, carting his white elephant gift and fixings for enchiladas, he kissed me on the forehead and said, "Rest if you can. You've worked hard today."  I LOVE that my husband understands that my days are spent busily taking care of my family, and other babies on certain days, and doesn't take it for granted.  I'm blessed by that.

So, here it is the end of the day, the kids are asleep, the house quiet and I finally have time for myself.  I could busy myself wrapping the pile of gifts hiding in our closet or cleaning the house again, a never ending job.  I choose not to.  My sanity and my body demands rest.  For me that means three things.  First, a bubble bath.  Second and third, a cup of Celestial Seasons Sleepytime tea in my favorite mug and my Nook, as I sit propped up on my pillows in my nice warm bed.  Awwww.... A breath of renewal.  The really hard days also may require a Patty Griffin radio station on Spotify.

This bedtime routine is so special to me that I actually wrote a note of appreciation to the Celestial Seasons company, thanking them for contributing to my ability to continue doing what I do.  I got a nice letter in response and a couple of coupons for more tea.  Now I feel convicted to make deliberate efforts to tell others that I appreciate them and the things they do more often.

I love this cup.

Truth be told, I live a blessed life.  I love being home with my children.  I enjoy caring for the other two babies.  I like having the flexibility to pack up and leave town on a Monday, like we did last week.  And lets be honest, if a cup of tea and a book can bring sanity to my day, it's not all that bad.  

Thanks for reading, you are appreciated.  Blessings on your day.

The best is yet to come...

Well, Ryann has been here for a little over a week and I'm not going to lie, life has been hard.  Living far away from family has made this new baby experience different and a lot more challenging than the other two.  It's easy to take that extra help from family for granted!

Zoe and Noah getting sick, the sickest Zoe has ever been, on top of having a new baby and recovering from surgery, made last week the longest week I have ever experienced.  Nights seemed unending and our minds turned to mush.  Trying to keep Ryann from getting the plague from the other two meant Zach was on throw up detail, bless his heart.  He changed sheets, did laundry, wiped up messes, made trips to the pharmacy, and did Doctor duty.  Thank the Lord that he was able to be home all week!

However, despite the trials of this past week, we have so much to be thankful for!  So far Ryann has avoided getting sick, Praise the Lord.  We only had to stay in the hospital one day, which is unheard of for a c-section, Praise the Lord.  We have a baby who is easily content and so, so precious, Praise the Lord!

It's easy to get overwhelmed, and I admit to more than one occasion where I just had to put my self in time out and "cry it out."  The knowledge that there are people who love us, who have been praying for us, has been incredibly helpful.  It doesn't hurt that I can look down in to the sweetest face and relish in this little gift that we have been so blessed by. 

Ryann at one week.

 

We are still adjusting to this new addition to our family.  Some of us are adjusting better than others.  Noah was asked yesterday if he liked his new baby sister.  He simply said, "No."  Well, at least he's honest folks.  Before Zoe got sick she was always asking to hold Ryann.  She even mastered the jiggling maneuver to calm Ryann down if she started fussing.  She's a great big sister.

 

As for me, I feel like she's always been a part of us.  Our family is now complete...

I'm not as smart as my kids...

Things have been hectic here at Bechtold Manor.  Zach has kicked off his busiest time of year and I'm having to get used to many nights of putting the kids to bed by myself.  I'm okay with it though, at least I know he will be here in the morning. :)

Baby Girl Bechtold is baking well, practicing her kicks and punches on my internal organs like a boss.  I have found that with baby number 3 I'm not as impatient as I was with the other two.  I need the next few months to prepare us all for her arrival.  As I was folding laundry yesterday I was hit with the realization that I will soon be doing laundry for five people.  Yikes!

We told Zoe that if she didn't mind switching bedrooms to the guest room that we would redecorate with paint, new furniture, and new bedding.  We started with the painting last week and she loves it.  We still have a long way to go but we are getting there little by little.

I cant get over how much my kids have grown this past month or so, both physically and mentally.  I like to think God is helping them to prepare for the little one to come, for both of them to be older siblings again.  They make me so proud.

For Christmas Zach and I gave Zoe a new "big girl" Bible.  We chose to get one that she could grow with so we opted not to go with a child's Bible.  The one she got is one I would give my youth students at church.  We knew that it would be a while before she would grow to appreciate the gift but we still wanted to get it for her.  The other night I went to tuck her in to bed and saw the Bible laying beside her.  I picked it up and noticed the ribbon marker had moved.  She said, "That's where I am in reading it."  Now, Zoe is five years old.  She is a pretty good little reader, but, let's be honest, she's not that fluent, especially when it come to reading Leviticus.  However, I love that she spends some time every evening "reading" her new Bible.  What a great habit to get into.

Once again I feel shamed by my children.  Here's my sweet girl, faced with so many new changes, who is going, on her own accord, into the Word.  I know she's not getting much as far as reading goes, but I also know God has His hand on her.  With all the busyness and chaos that has consumed our world lately, and will continue to for the weeks and months to come, I have forgotten at times to go to Him who can deliver peace, understanding, and wisdom.  I go to bed each night and, instead of grabbing my Bible, I reach for another book, the remote control, or the laptop.  I need to be more like my kids.

Here's another little reminder, that no matter how grown up we may feel we are, there is always something we can learn from those around us.

May you see those who can teach you, no matter their age...

My sweet girl.

2013! Holla!

I have spent the first of 2013 in bed, watching Big Bang Theory, drinking coffee, and all-in-all enjoying some quiet time.  Zach is playing x-box and the kids are playing nicely together in Zoe's room.  Soon, I will get up and fix lunch, black-eyed peas and ham!

I've been reflecting, not so much on the past year, but instead on what this new year will hold.  Lots of changes are coming up for this Bechtold family.  May will bring the addition to our little family as well as the beginning of Zach's back-to-school endeavor.  In the coming months we will also see what changes come with Zach's path to becoming a local pastor.  Things will never be the same as it is now.  I love that!

As our lives continue to grow and evolve I'm able to see the great promise that comes with change.  I feel confident in God's plan for our family and that brings me comfort.  Times may become difficult this year, but I know we will get through it.  This is our path!

I pray that each of you will also see God's promise in change, for in it, we all will truly grow...

Taking Back Christmas

Last year I wrote a blog about how difficult it can be to actually enjoy the Christmas season (take a gander here if you want).  Life was so busy and hectic with all the commitments we had made for ourselves that joy was hard to find.  This year I made a vow to myself that this family would simplify things and give ourselves the gift of time.  Time to relax and enjoy one another as a family and time to appreciate the holiday.

Things became a little derailed when I became sick for three weeks but I am on the mend now and back on track.  I'm thankful now more than ever that we opted out of some activities we would normally of done.  I have found that by choosing only the most important activities to be a part of or to host, that those things we are doing have more meaning.  I appreciate the holiday parties we have chosen to do more than last year because it's not "just another thing on the list." 

This year we have already watched several Christmas movies as a family.  We are able to do our advent calendar everyday.  We have days that are free coming up to make Christmas cookies and ornaments as a family.  Those school Christmas programs are actually anticipated because they are not conflicting with other activities.  We find that even with all the things we have planned to do, we still have time for Zach to go play golf or for me to enjoy some quiet time.  By simplifying our Christmas we have freed up funds to give to those in need.  Yes people, we have found a way to take back Christmas!

Things aren't perfect.  We will always have our obligations around this time and I know that I have been judged by some by opting our family out of some activities, but, in the end what really matters is that we have had the opportunity to enjoy what we have without longing for what we don't.

What are you doing to take back Christmas this year? 

From our family to yours, have yourself a very merry Christmas.

Thankfulness

I haven't been blogging much lately.  I have no real reason for this other than I've been so sick and exhausted that my mind has pretty much turned to mush.  Most of the time I don't feel I could even tell you the day, let alone communicate something worthwhile. 

Thankfully I am beginning to have more times during the day where I feel almost human so I am hopeful that we are on a uphill side of things.  I have been humbled recently with the amount of inquiries about my health that I have received these past few weeks.  Humbled and thankful for the prayers.

Earlier today I was on Facebook and was astounded by all the negative comments and just plain displays of grouchiness on display from some of my facebook contacts.  As usual, this got me thinking...

As I did last year, I am doing the 30 days of Thankfulness, thinking of at least one thing each day that I am thankful for.  Some people may think doing this is "lame" or whatnot, but honestly, sometimes we need to be reminded to think of something each day that we are thankful for.  Otherwise we can easily be wrapped up in our own pity party and forget how blessed we are.  I love writing these each day and I love reading what others find to be thankful.

Reflecting on this thought, it hit me: I am happy.  I have a wonderful and blessed life.  Yes, lately things have been hard on me and my family because of my physical limitations, but that hasn't changed anything.  I have a wonderful family, wonderful friends, a lovely home, and food on the table.  What more could I possible want? 

It's easy to let our day to day burdens drag us down.  But just think how much happier we would be if forced ourselves to be thankful for our blessings each and every day.  Let's band together, stop the negativity, and be a beacon of light and goodness for the world to see.

Matthew 5

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.

 

 

Where's your sparkle?

I often find myself in need of a certain reminder, things aren't usually nearly as bad as I think they are.

Those moments that I find myself incredibly discouraged with work are eased when I am able to clearly see that, it spite of it all, things could be worse.  When I am able to make myself see that, I am also able to see all the blessings.

The same goes for parenthood.   It's no secret, with two young children with two strong personalities, that the going gets tough sometimes.  I've made countless phone calls to my mom where the first words out of my mouth are, "Your grandchildren!"  It helps me to hear her chuckle, even if I don't completely appreciate it at the time, and realize, these are the moments that are few and far between.  These are the moments that I won't remember a year from now.  I have a great family, I should never take them for granted.

It helps to have someone to vent to.  I am lucky that when it comes to work and ministry issues, I have a great pastor/friend that will allow me to come to his office and "download."  I am lucky that my husband doesn't mind me crying on his shoulder when I just don't know what else to do.  I am lucky that my mother is able to bring my back down to reality when my kids are driving me batty.
I am lucky.  I am blessed.

I am also lucky that these wonderful people around me, my kids who depend on me, my family that supports me, do not allow me to wallow in the "poor me's."   I am not afforded the luxury to wallow too long in whatever woes I feel are irrepressible, and instead, am encouraged to be proactive about the things I can change and accepting of the things I cannot.  

Bechtold News:
Zoe is LOVING school, which is no surprise, she's always loved school.  She has gotten in trouble for talking, which is also no surprise.  I had a dear woman at church ask me the other day if "Zoe was born talking."  YES! she was. 

Noah has started back two mornings a week at preschool.  He's also enjoying it, and only cries a little when we leave him.   The past two weeks he has been in bed before 7:00, if he makes it that long.  It's hard work being such an active little guy.

Zach has started back in gear at Wesley and is as busy as ever, and as exhausted as ever.  Even with how tired he is, I know he is so happy.  He is so fortunate to do what he loves and get paid for it!

I have been busy with trying to get our family into some sort of schedule.  I am getting back into our "School" youth schedule along with starting a Life Group at church and volunteering weekly at Zoe's school.  I love that I am able to do these things. 

I will leave you with a quote from the bedtime story I was reading Zoe tonight, from The Very Fairy Princess:  "Even a fairy princess needs a break, to keep her sparkle from sagging!"

Do what you need to do, to help you keep your sparkle!

Oh Barney...

Small acts...

I enjoy Facebook, maybe even a little too much.  I could blame it on the fact that I am home with the kids all day, rarely seeing another adult, but I fear that would be merely an excuse.  Truth is I enjoy seeing what my friends and family are up to.  It helps me feel connected, which considering I rarely get to see any of my family and friends, is very important. 

A large number of my Facebook friends are parents.  I love seeing and hearing about the antics of their little ones and not so little ones.  I love seeing the photos from those who are parents to furry children.  Basically, I love hearing from everyone.

Some might call me nosy.  Perhaps I am, but honestly, I am interested in what's going on in the lives of those whom I care about.  There are those who like to pretend they are too evolved for Facebook.  There are those who will gladly post a million things but they "don't check their Facebook."  In other words, they have no interest in what other may have to say.

Why the Facebook rant? you may be asking.  Well, let me explain...to much, let me sum up (hehehe) - The other day someone that Zach knows posted a status.  Very basic, very standard.  He liked it, as he is prone to do.  This friend of Zach's (and I hope I don't embarrass them by stating this) then commented on his wall, expressing to him how happy that "like" made them. 

It can take so little to make someone's day, or to break someone's day.  One little acknowledgement from someone that yes, they are here, and yes, they care about what you have to say.  In a world where communication with others is mainly digital, it is so easy to reach out to others.  On the flip side, its also so easy to make another feel so very alone.

It's not healthy to focus on such little things, for sure, but truth is, sometimes we do.  Sometimes others do.  Right or wrong, regardless of how you feel about technology, Facebook, or the internet, little acts of digital kindness can go a long way.

In other news:

Zach is preaching for our friend Travis at church today, all three services.  He is nervous, but I have faith he will do wonderfully.  He preaches for Wesley but this being "our" church makes things harder for him.

Last night we got to eat some delicious custard with a group from Plainview on their way to San Diego for a mission trip.  It was wonderful to see their faces, kids and adults that were such big parts of our lives in Plainview.  Prayers for them this week.

Summer is almost over - yikes! I'm ready for a vacation!

I must now go and get ready to go hear my best friend!

Blessings to you on this day! What acts of kindness can you find to do today?

Memories made...

Yesterday morning I had great plans for our day.  Funny thing about kids, they don't care about your plans. 

Zach got a bug in him that he needed to get a new pillow so we decided to head to the mall, grab lunch there, and then go rent a movie from Red Box.  We got to the mall and was picking out a pillow when Noah decided to throw a monster 2 year old tantrum.  Moments earlier he had been smiling and laughing, even prompting an older woman to walk by and tell us what a little gentleman he was and how she could just snatch him up.  He began screaming and before I knew it he was running down the aisle.  I leave Zach and Zoe to check out and begin the chase.  I literally chased that little monster around the entire store, all while he was screaming as loud as his little lungs could allow.  Finally I catch up to him and he goes boneless. After struggling for a few minutes I am able to wrangle him into my arms and he continues to fight me and scream.  I am beyond frustrated.  I go and grab Zoe from Zach, who is still in line to check-out, and announce we are headed to the car (much to the relief of every person in the store, I'm sure).  I see the woman who commented on wanting to take Noah with her and she wont meet my eye.  At this point she could of made me a very reasonable offer and I would of been tempted.

This guy...

We get in the car and once Zach gets there I tell him that I have reached my limits and it would be better to just go home and abandon all of our plans.  Noah continues to scream until we pull into our neighborhood, where he becomes quite pleasant once again.  Sigh...

We put the kids down for naps and crash out in front of the tv.  At this point I am wary of continuing on with the plans I had for a family movie night.  The patience I was forced to exercise in the mall has taken it's toll on me.  However, one look at my sweet daughter playing quietly changes my mind.  Plan on!

I have seen on Pinterest, in a couple of places actually, the idea to create a drive-in movie experience in your living room.  You can see one here and how far the idea can be taken.  We decided to keep it simple.

Zoe and I went to the garage and selected two big boxes, took them to the living room, and set about decorating them.  Zoe LOVED this and commented several times about how she was "just so happy."  Zach even got in the spirit and helped Zoe while I decorated Noah's box, as he was sleeping off the crankiness.

Zoe decorates her chick-mobile.

Zoe wanted her car to be a "girly" car and only pink and purple colors were allowed.  She drew windows on the inside of her box and clouds in the windows.  After the wheels were glued on she went and grabbed blankets and pillows and we made her "car" as comfy as possible.  When Noah woke up we all went to Walgreens for junk food and a movie.  Zoe decided the perfect movie snacks were popcorn, M&Ms, and Sprite.  I also grabbed a package of cookies to balance everything out.

All in all it was a great evening.  Noah loved sitting in his car as much as sister did.  They both enjoyed the movie and went to bed full of sugar.

Notice the M&M beard.

I'm glad that, even though my day didn't go as planned, I decided to continue on with this idea.  This past week I read an article (here) about a little baby with days to live.  As a memorial to this baby, his parents requested that parents everywhere serve banana splits for dinner to their kids.  In other words, give their kids a moment to remember, even if it's not healthy.  It's a way to enjoy the moment and not take any day for granted.  I must admit that was my inspiration for this evening of junk food, tv, and cardboard cars.

At the end of the day the tantrum at the store seemed trivial.  These moments at the end, the simple pleasures of a evening at home with my beautiful family, that's what will stick with us. 

May you all do something today worth remembering...

Point the way...

Zach is away at his first Annual Conference this week and the kids and I are at home, trucking along as usual.  We are pretty used to him being gone from his days as a Youth Pastor.  I think everyone underestimates how busy a youth pastor can be in the summer, or any time for that matter.  I know there are people in our lives who believed, and still do, that Zach only works one or two days a work and feel inclined to put work in quotations.

We have been so blessed to be able to do what we do.  We have met some incredible people and have gotten to be a part of some incredible events, all things we would have missed out on if we had "regular" jobs.  Sure, the pay's not great and sometimes the hours aren't either, but I know neither one of us would trade what we have done for all the money in the world.

Zach's trip to AC is sure to be the first of many and this fact alone gets me so excited for our future.  You see, we have a purpose.  God has great things in store for us and I can't wait to see what's next.  I know without a doubt we are on the right path.

Where is God directing you?  Are you able to see His direction through your own wordly desires?


Blessings to you all, my friends...

Sometimes Life is hard...

This is Zoe's last week of preschool.  Wednesday is her last day and she is very ready to begin Kindergarten.  She is having a problem dealing with the fact that she will no longer be going to Bright Beginnings.   She came home from school today already in trouble from her father.  Apparently she didn't want to leave school and shared this feeling quite forcefully with Zach.  He did not appreciate that so much and punished her to her room as soon as they got home.

Knowing she was upset and guessing at the reason, I went in to talk to her.  I pulled her in my lap and she immediately began crying.  "I'm going to miss my friends so much! I'm never going to see them again!" she wailed.  I know her pain.  I sympathize with her.  Smoothing her sweaty hair back and wiping away her tears I told her,"People enter our lives for a reason.  If people are supposed to be in our lives we must trust in God that He will find a way to make it happen."

People have entered my life and left my life.  I have moved miles away from the people I care about.  I have to have faith that God has a plan for me and knows what people are meant for that plan.  Regardless of where I am I must believe that He has a way to ensure the right people are in my life.

As I stated in my previous post I have been giving a lot of thought to my ministry.  Anyone can have a ministry in my opinion, you don't have to have a job at a church or be a Minister.  People think that if they have a desire to serve God then they must go to seminary.  That's simply not true and if more people realized this then I think the state of our churches would be better.  We would have less ineffective pastors and more involved congregants, but I digress.  

We never know when we will depart this world, when today will be our last.  Can you feel comfortable with saying,"If I die tomorrow, I know that I leave this world a better place for having been in it."

St. Francis of Assisi is quoted as saying: "Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that have received--only what you have given."

I hope and pray that when I leave this place at least one person can say I had a positive impact on them.  Shouldn't that be what we all strive for? 

I will not be on Facebook much for a while.  If you need to contact me please message me or send me a text.  Peace be to you.

YOLO

YOLO. I know most of you are very familiar with this acronym.  It's very popular with the younger generations.  I first saw it popping up in my facebook news feed and, being more unhip than I thought, had no idea what it meant.  I actually had to Google it to find out it means "you only live once."  It's a great life motto, if you use it correctly.  Unfortunately, many people choose to use this saying as a justification of doing anything that they want.  "You only live once so what if I do this incredibly stupid thing?"  "You only live once so what if I do something that hurts another person?"  Yeah, you get the idea.

For me, and I assume many others, this is simply a reminder to not take those things/people/experiences in our lives for granted.  It's trendy, and to certain hipsters it's probably taboo, but, to remind ourselves that we only have this one life to live can encourage us to make better choices.  Something that I came across while teaching Confirmation (in fact it may have been quoted once in some sermon here recently) is that if you leave this place without having made at least one change to make it better then you did not live up to your life's purpose.  We all have a purpose in life, to love as Jesus has taught us to love.  We never know when it's our time to leave this world, or, for that matter, when it's time for someone else to leave this world.  Why should we put off for tomorrow the good we can do today?

There's a news story floating about that I'm sure has many others like me reaching for the tissue.  It's the story of the little baby who's parents were told she didn't have long to live.  They created a bucket list for her short little life which, unfortunately, ended much too soon.  Here's a link to the article if you haven't seen it.  It's a heart breaking story and I can't imagine what her parents must be going through.  I know if it were me I would probably be wallowing in "what-ifs" and regrets over every wasted moment I had with my child.

Disaster can happen at any moment to any one of us.  Each moment we have with someone we care about could be our last.  What regrets would you have if something happened tomorrow to one of your loved ones?

My sweet little girl is going to be five on Friday.  I can't believe how quickly time has gone and I know that before I know it I will be posting pictures of her Senior Prom on Facebook (or it's equivalent in 12 years).  Already I have regrets of time wasted with my little girl.  Weeks go by and I haven't used the time with my family wisely.  We let our lives go by in a blur of business and have nothing to show for it.  We spend our days working, cleaning, running around crazy, and when we have the chance to just "be" with our family we spend it sprawled in front of the tv or snapping at our kids who are vying for our attention.  Opportunities to be with those we care about are wasted.

Tonight after an evening of Zach and I going our different ways for work we were able to meet up at McAllisters for supper.  There we were, sitting outside on the patio, eating as a family, enjoying the perfect weather and watching the sun go down behind the mountains.  It was perfectly peaceful and I fully appreciated that moment with my family.

You Only Live Once.  Are you wasting your life or are you making the most of the gift of time that has generously been given to everyone of us? 

May you always see your blessings for what they are and never take them for granted...

Just life

Let me start out by saying I love Netflix instant streaming.  This week while I have been taking it easy on my back, Netflix has been a sanity saver.  Lots and lots of Bones, Psych, and the Office. 

This week has been the "home-stretch" for summer.  Zach has been crazy busy for work closing up the semester but tomorrow is his last scheduled event.  Today the Wesley is having its first annual golf tournament.  This event has been very stressful for Zach and I for one am glad to see it behind us. 

Thursday night we had an open house at Zoe's new school for next year.  She is so excited to be starting Kindergarten, very ready to find out who her new teacher is going to be.  The idea of her starting big girl school next year makes me a little weepy so I try not to think of it too much.

Next week my little girl turns five. FIVE!!  How is that possible?  I asked her what she wanted more than anything for her birthday and she said, "Olive Garden."  We plan to go there Thursday night as we are going to Plainview on Friday for her birthday and Mother's day.  We haven't been back to Plainview since Christmas. 

Last night, after a busy day full of a doctors appointment, errands, shopping, rummage-saling at church, and picking Noah up from school, Zach really wanted a nice, quiet evening to rest.  He was exhausted from helping Travis move and watching the Avengers at midnight the day before.  We cooked out on the grill and then treated the kids to watching a movie in the guest room before bed (we don't allow them to watch tv in there often).  After months of waiting for a good time we decided to finally try and watch Money Ball.  It probably took us three hours to watch the movie because of the constant interruptions from our children.  After the tenth time of having to pause the movie because of the kids I could see the vein starting to pulse in Zach's forehead.  He was not enjoying the trappings of parenthood in that moment.  I scooped up Noah and laughing, took him to his room and put him in bed.  Zach, shaking his head at me said, "I'm glad you think its so funny."  My response was, "Sometimes all you can do is laugh." 

I know that is a cliche thing to say but it's so true.  Life gives us so many interruptions, plans get ruined, messes happen, and those moments of quiet and rest we think we desperately need never seem to turn out the way we want.  We can choose to let those moments bring us down or we can laugh, shake it off, and keep on trucking. 

Here's to some calm during the noise of life, but if that doesn't happen, here's to a sense of humor to keep us sane...