Rejoice

Negativity.  It's all around us.  Somedays I feel as if I'm drowning in negative thoughts, both my own and those belonging to others.  It's difficult at times to find something that we can truly be joyful about.  When we do, there are always those who try to take that joy away from you.  As Taylor Swift reminds us, "Haters gonna hate."  

What do you do to find joy?

I love Christmas.  This holiday evokes a sense of peace and happiness within me that few other things can duplicate.  Celebrating Christmas brings me joy.  It provides moments that I can enjoy with my family.  Christmas gives us opportunity to create traditions, to create memories.   Yet, people are trying to tell me how I can celebrate.  They are trying to tell me there are rules to be followed.  Love Christmas, but only this way, at this time.  They are trying to steal my joy.

Why?  Why do we let ourselves be bothered by things that aren't doing others harm?  My choosing to celebrate Christmas for more than 25 days does not hurt anyone.  Putting up our Christmas tree a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving does not rob you of that holiday.  Instead, for us, it gives just one more thing to be thankful for.  What a great gift we were given, why can't that be included in our Thanks giving?

This is just one example.  There are many ways, many times throughout the year, that we are faced with a decision.  Do we choose to let little things we don't particularly understand or care for bother us?  Bother us to the point where we steal another's joy?

Finding times and ways to rejoice is hard enough.  Don't let yourself be the reason somebody else's joyful heart is extinguished.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. - Philippians 4:4-9

Let's try together to be a light to all in this dark, dark world.

From my family, to yours, we wish you a Merry Christmas.

I realize that there are many of you that have reasons that make this holiday a particularly difficult time.  Please take no offense to this rant of mine.

Yep, it's the Spirit Bus, Folks!

It's been a while since I've last written.  It's not for the lack of things going on, that's for sure, but more from the lack of energy or coherent thoughts.  The other day I seriously had trouble remembering my own address.   To say the least, life has been crazy lately.

Of course, everyone's life is a little crazy it seems.  It seems that around here everyone is a little more stressed, a little more exhausted, and a little more frustrated.   There are times I wish to shut my family in the house and hope for the world, and the people in it, to return to normal by morning.  Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way and we have to learn to cope.

So, how do you handle the chaos of life?  What helps you deal with the people around you that are just driving you batty?  For me, it's my family.  Interesting that one of my biggest stress makers can also be salvation.  I've been trying really hard to be very conscious of how I react to situations in front of my children.  I'm very intentional about practicing not raising my voice or over reacting in front of my children.  To pat myself on my back I am making great strides in this area.  I'm not completely there yet, but every day I can go without losing it is a victory.

I'm also trying to make every day, especially for Noah, who doesn't get to go out much, something special.  It doesn't always happen, some days I feel we are just trying to survive, but that's my intention anyway.  I want to make the most out of these precious days I have with my kids, because, I know, the time will go by too quickly.

It's in this spirit that we have already begun to celebrate the Christmas season.  Yes, we have already put out some lights on the house, our tree is up and lit (though still awaiting ornaments) and, yes, I have already begun listening to Christmas songs in the car.   We know, with our past experience, that this season passes too fast, and often will come and go without us truly enjoying it.  Every year I have a list of projects and activities to do as a family, and every year the season comes and goes with several of them left undone.  So, we start a little earlier and enjoy it a little longer.

Crazy thing is, people have actually given us criticism for it.  Or, if not us specifically, anyone who gets in the "spirit" a little earlier than is deemed appropriate.  Why does it bother people?  Lately, and I attribute this to those things I said above, people seem to be more negative about things.   I've seen those memes that make fun of those doing the "30 days of Thanksgiving" by accusing them of only being thankful in November.  Why would anyone let the fact that someone chooses to be intentionally thankful bother them??  Shouldn't we be glad that some are choosing to see good things, even if it may only be for 30 days? Isn't one month better than never?

So why get upset about Christmas being seen earlier than Thanksgiving?  Who cares if stores may be doing it to increase profits?  Shouldn't we instead be thankful that, despite intention of others, that some people are going to be a little happier, a little more in the Christmas spirit, a little longer than the month of December?  Why do we let what we perceive to be the intention of others bother us, and instead focus on our reactions?

I guess that's my rant for the day.  Lets worry more about how we act, and less about the motive of others.  Only one of those things do we have any control over.

Now, for a random bit of cuteness, here is little Ryann.  She is six months old already.  Today was her first time riding in the cart like a big girl.  She is growing way too fast!!

And yes, we are in the Christmas aisle....

Home Alone!

So, here I am, home completely alone.  I'm okay with that, for a few days at least.  I lived alone for so many years it's rather nice to get a taste of that again.  Of course, I miss my darling little family like crazy.  I am whiling away my evening/night listening to some tunes.  It's been a while since I've had an opportunity to just decompress, without worries of bothering my kids or husband.

When I'm down I search every mistake
I'm looking for new regrets
Sometimes I forget, I forget
That His grace is sufficient for me
That it's deeper and wider than I can conceive
His grace is sufficient for me


These are some lyrics of Jennifer Knapp's (LOVE HER) "His Grace is Sufficient."  Now, I'm not here, at this moment, dwelling on some sad thoughts, but I know that in those moments where I am feeling particularly depressed I search for more things to be depressed about.  I will often find myself doubting everything about who I am, insisting that I am worthless and undeserving of all the many blessings I have.  In the back of my mind, I know this is just not true.  I am just as worthy as everyone else because His Grace is Sufficient.  I can't understand it but I can appreciate it.  Or as another great song can explain:


It’s good to know
That there’s a second chance
Know that it’s all in Your hands
Even if I just don’t understand
’Cause I know that I will be alright
I finally see the other side
It takes the darkness to open up your eyes
Sometimes


Thank You Francesca Battistelli!


On another note, got some packing done even while enjoying my Harry Potter marathon.  I was able to get most of Zoe's toys packed, and believe me when I say that was no small feat! 


Blessings to you all!

I guess I'm a natural born pessimist...

I was recently perusing Facebook and came across a note written by a "friend" (in quotes because though I went to high school with this person I wasn't really their friend) and it brought up some feelings that I have been struggling with. Recently I was hit hard by watching and reading news about a man who died in an accident at Ranger stadium. Though his death is tragedy enough, what hit me the hardest was that his young son was with him. I can't imagine what his son is going to struggle with for the rest of his life. It struck me how much tragedy is in the world and how little I have personally experienced. Now, while a naturally optimistic person would simply count their blessings and move on, I am left with the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Certainly I realize how truly blessed I am and am thankful everyday for those blessings, but I can't shake the feeling that something terrible can happen at any moment. For example, yesterday we met Zach's brother in Witchita Falls to give him the kids to take to Plainview. Even though I was thankful that we didn't have to drive the entire distance to Plainview ourselves I had the thought of "what would happen if he was involved in a car accident with my children on board." My life could come tumbling down around me in an instance, just one bad decision, one second of carelessness...

At the beginning of the year Zach and I found out we were pregnant. I was excited and terrified at the same time. Another baby to love and cherish... I remember talking with my mother over the phone a few weeks into the pregnancy and expressing concern over the health of this baby. In my mind I struggled with the fact that I had had two healthy pregnancies resulting in two healthy babies...no problems, no losses... How could I be so lucky? What was it about me that I should be so fortunate when all over the world people are struggling with tremendous loss every moment of every day? Unfortunately my worries were founded as we did loose that pregnancy a few weeks later.

I don't know what answers I am trying to find by blogging about this except for maybe some release of my own inner angst... I will continue to pray for the safety of my loved ones and not dwell on the tragedies that I imagine could happen to me...