I have a confession to make. I am addicted to podcasts. Guys, it's serious. I don't know why I waited so long, but I fell for them and fell hard. I don't watch tv hardly at all anymore and my time on social media sites have decreased considerably. I listen to a variety of podcasts, mostly true crime (don't judge), and a few comedy. One I really enjoy and put on when I need a laugh is called the Dollop. It's an American History podcast that takes a story or a person from history, both distant and not too distant, and breaks it down into a laughter filled hour or so. I wouldn't recommend this podcast if you are thin skinned or if you can't handle listening to views that may not necessarily match up to your own or are sensitive to bad language. I love it though and I've learned quite a bit.
One great thing about listening to podcasts is I can put in my earbuds, turn on an episode, and get things done. I've found I'm much more productive. Today was a day that I needed to both laugh and get stuff done so I turned on The Dollop and got busy. Interestingly enough, one of the topics spoke to something that has been on my heart lately.
So the topic was a silly one, titled Straw Hat Riot (episode 129 for you Rubes), and basically it spoke about a time that people were so concerned that men not wear their straw hats passed a specified date, that they would literally take and destroy said hat if one was caught wearing it. It became a real issue, people were arrested and injured because of a hat. One of the hosts of the podcasts (and I paraphrase because language) said, "Why do people care what other people are doing so much?"
That's what's been laying on my heart lately. Why do people care what other people do so much? Maybe I've mellowed with age, or maybe I've encountered enough people who are different than what I grew up with, or maybe it's life experiences, who knows, but honestly folks, I don't care very much what other people choose to do if it doesn't harm anyone. For instance, how many posts have you seen regarding fashion and you just can't wrap your mind around why someone would choose to wear it? Or, perhaps you can't stand a certain celebrity, and cant fathom why someone would look up to them. How many times have you glanced at the comments of that cute puppy video you shared and saw commentors who somehow found something negative to say about it. Even those recipe videos some of us love (guilty) will have comments along the lines of "Why would anyone eat this" or "wow, this cake is really ugly, who would want it?"
Whatever it is, so many people feel the need to take a stance on the silliest of issues, becoming keyboard warriors against anyone who would dare be different. I'm here to tell you, I DON'T CARE! I don't care what you wear, how much makeup you wear, how your hair is done, what shows, music, books you like. I don't care if you prefer a certain type of vehicle or type of pet, if you can't stand a certain type of food or hobby. I don't care if you are a Baptist or a Methodist, if you prefer one type of worship music over another. I don't feel the need to turn everyone I meet into Mikel clones, who believe in the exact same way I do. Let me enjoy the things I enjoy, and I'll be glad to return the favor.
Try as you might, you will not find anyone who agrees one hundred percent with you in any given topic, be it politics, religion, current events, how you raise your family, or how you live your life. That's OK. I've learned so much from people who think differently than me. There is so much negativity in this world, why add to it? Why bring misery to yourself and others over insignificant things? Why, when there are so many real issues going on today that are much more deserving of our concern and attention?
Friends, there is so much darkness in our lives, in our world, why can't we all choose to stop finding issue with our neighbors, stop adding to the negativity, and instead bring much needed light and love into our lives and into the lives of those we encounter, even if it's just with strangers on the internet. It's okay to have differing ideas about things. It's okay to not like everything we see. However, ask yourself, would this negative thought benefit anyone else? Is it worth my time to comment about something I don't like or think is silly? Are my negative comments online or in person the witness I want to give?
May your days be filled with goodness and may we all be the light in a world filled with darkness.
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Growing pains
I'd like to tell you a story. Before I begin, however, let me give you some background information.
We have been living in our new town, with Zach serving at his new church since the end of June. In that time, there has been lots of changes and upheaval for our family. Finding a routine for the kids and I to get in to has been a challenge, and continues to be more than four months into this new life. Sundays have proven to be the most challenging part of finding our new normal. There are three services that Zach must be at. He leaves our house often before 7:00 on Sunday mornings. Two services are held at one church, one right after the other, with the third being held at another church, in another town, more than twenty minutes away. What is a preacher's wife and family to do? Most weeks I try to make it to two of those services, one in each church, though there are times that I just don't have it in me to sit through two services with my three kids so I choose one. Then of course, there's always the one service, the earliest one, that I have only been to a few times.
Now, on to the story and the purpose of this post:
Not too long ago the kids and I got up to go to the earliest service, the one we have only been to on occasion. I sat in the front, with the three kids. I tried to smile at those around me and most people wouldn't even meet my eye. That's okay, it's early, most of these people have no clue who I am. The kids are tired, cranky, hot and uncomfortable. The youngest one is crawling all over me, fidgeting to stay awake, but really wanting to go to sleep. We make it to the end of the service and I work on gathering the water bottles, church bag, my purse, and loose bulletins. An older woman walks up to us, she's the first one to talk to us since we walked in the front door. She goes right up to Noah, who has been upset because of something his sister did or said, and asks him why he didn't stand during the last song, saying, "Is there something wrong with you?"
Noah immediately backs away from her, this stranger whom he has never met. My six year old has no idea how to respond to this question and chooses to say nothing instead. The lady glances at me for the first time, asks if its our first visit here and then offers the kids some candy. I left flabbergasted. I managed to make it to my car before I broke down into tears. I went home depressed and feeling like I am the worst mom alive, the worst preacher's wife, a failure.
Now, I understand that I am a sensitive person. I also admit to reading into things, intentions that weren't ever there. However, I also know that had I been a visitor I would never go back to that church because of how my kids and I were treated, because of how a few people made me feel, whatever their true intentions were.
I know a lot of my readers are church goers, many of you are leaders in your congregation. I am begging you to think about how you treat young families, visitors, and anyone else. Think about how you go about greeting people, how you handle those people who may be "doing it wrong."
I have written before about having kids in church (you can see those here and here). It's hard, whether you have one or five. We are trying to teach our kid how to behave in an environment that is often unforgiving of mistakes or missteps. Our kids are expected to sit quietly, to understand the traditions and routines, to be still, and to be happy. How are they expected to learn anything without messing up on occasion?
Let me tell you another story:
Another Sunday, and another service finds us once again sitting on the front row, belongings strewn about, but this time we are in another sanctuary, surrounded by different people. My kids are happy and this creates a new set of challenges. They want to play, they want to talk, they want to run up and give their daddy a hug. Ryann, the three year old wants to dance to the music. Her dress has a twirly skirt and that's amazing and doesn't everyone want to see? I am exhausted, and frustrated, and once again feeling like I'm failing. The end of the service comes and I try to gather my wits and belongings without crumbling. An older woman comes up to me. Great. Here we go again. She puts a hand on my arm and says, "I want you to know that we love seeing your kids up here. I know it can be frustrating for you, but we love it. You are doing a good job of handling them by yourself."
Friends, this is love. This is what will bring people back, bring people into a relationship. There was no judgement, just encouragement.
Being a parent is hard. Being a parent who tries to bring their family to church is hard. Young families today have so much vying for their attention and time. Often both parents work full time jobs and Sundays may be the only time for families to spend together. For them to come spend an hour or more at church is an achievement in itself. It means they are there because they want to be, whatever reason that may be. They will often want to keep their family together during that hour of worship, for good reason. However, there's a good chance that their younger ones are still learning about what church is, and how to behave. Their parents are likely still learning about how to best handle their little ones while figuring everything out. Be kind. Be encouraging. Be helpful. Love. Think about your words before you offer any kind of observation or "helpful" advice. Think about how your words, whatever their intention, may sound to an overwhelmed mother or father. Think about how your criticisms may sound to that visitor, who doesn't understand or know about "how we do things." If we expect to have a church in thirty years, we need to practice loving and encouraging more, and criticizing less.
Thoughts? I'd love to hear from you.
We have been living in our new town, with Zach serving at his new church since the end of June. In that time, there has been lots of changes and upheaval for our family. Finding a routine for the kids and I to get in to has been a challenge, and continues to be more than four months into this new life. Sundays have proven to be the most challenging part of finding our new normal. There are three services that Zach must be at. He leaves our house often before 7:00 on Sunday mornings. Two services are held at one church, one right after the other, with the third being held at another church, in another town, more than twenty minutes away. What is a preacher's wife and family to do? Most weeks I try to make it to two of those services, one in each church, though there are times that I just don't have it in me to sit through two services with my three kids so I choose one. Then of course, there's always the one service, the earliest one, that I have only been to a few times.
Now, on to the story and the purpose of this post:
Not too long ago the kids and I got up to go to the earliest service, the one we have only been to on occasion. I sat in the front, with the three kids. I tried to smile at those around me and most people wouldn't even meet my eye. That's okay, it's early, most of these people have no clue who I am. The kids are tired, cranky, hot and uncomfortable. The youngest one is crawling all over me, fidgeting to stay awake, but really wanting to go to sleep. We make it to the end of the service and I work on gathering the water bottles, church bag, my purse, and loose bulletins. An older woman walks up to us, she's the first one to talk to us since we walked in the front door. She goes right up to Noah, who has been upset because of something his sister did or said, and asks him why he didn't stand during the last song, saying, "Is there something wrong with you?"
Noah immediately backs away from her, this stranger whom he has never met. My six year old has no idea how to respond to this question and chooses to say nothing instead. The lady glances at me for the first time, asks if its our first visit here and then offers the kids some candy. I left flabbergasted. I managed to make it to my car before I broke down into tears. I went home depressed and feeling like I am the worst mom alive, the worst preacher's wife, a failure.
Now, I understand that I am a sensitive person. I also admit to reading into things, intentions that weren't ever there. However, I also know that had I been a visitor I would never go back to that church because of how my kids and I were treated, because of how a few people made me feel, whatever their true intentions were.
I know a lot of my readers are church goers, many of you are leaders in your congregation. I am begging you to think about how you treat young families, visitors, and anyone else. Think about how you go about greeting people, how you handle those people who may be "doing it wrong."
I have written before about having kids in church (you can see those here and here). It's hard, whether you have one or five. We are trying to teach our kid how to behave in an environment that is often unforgiving of mistakes or missteps. Our kids are expected to sit quietly, to understand the traditions and routines, to be still, and to be happy. How are they expected to learn anything without messing up on occasion?
Let me tell you another story:
Another Sunday, and another service finds us once again sitting on the front row, belongings strewn about, but this time we are in another sanctuary, surrounded by different people. My kids are happy and this creates a new set of challenges. They want to play, they want to talk, they want to run up and give their daddy a hug. Ryann, the three year old wants to dance to the music. Her dress has a twirly skirt and that's amazing and doesn't everyone want to see? I am exhausted, and frustrated, and once again feeling like I'm failing. The end of the service comes and I try to gather my wits and belongings without crumbling. An older woman comes up to me. Great. Here we go again. She puts a hand on my arm and says, "I want you to know that we love seeing your kids up here. I know it can be frustrating for you, but we love it. You are doing a good job of handling them by yourself."
Friends, this is love. This is what will bring people back, bring people into a relationship. There was no judgement, just encouragement.
Being a parent is hard. Being a parent who tries to bring their family to church is hard. Young families today have so much vying for their attention and time. Often both parents work full time jobs and Sundays may be the only time for families to spend together. For them to come spend an hour or more at church is an achievement in itself. It means they are there because they want to be, whatever reason that may be. They will often want to keep their family together during that hour of worship, for good reason. However, there's a good chance that their younger ones are still learning about what church is, and how to behave. Their parents are likely still learning about how to best handle their little ones while figuring everything out. Be kind. Be encouraging. Be helpful. Love. Think about your words before you offer any kind of observation or "helpful" advice. Think about how your words, whatever their intention, may sound to an overwhelmed mother or father. Think about how your criticisms may sound to that visitor, who doesn't understand or know about "how we do things." If we expect to have a church in thirty years, we need to practice loving and encouraging more, and criticizing less.
Thoughts? I'd love to hear from you.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Small acts...
I enjoy Facebook, maybe even a little too much. I could blame it on the fact that I am home with the kids all day, rarely seeing another adult, but I fear that would be merely an excuse. Truth is I enjoy seeing what my friends and family are up to. It helps me feel connected, which considering I rarely get to see any of my family and friends, is very important.
A large number of my Facebook friends are parents. I love seeing and hearing about the antics of their little ones and not so little ones. I love seeing the photos from those who are parents to furry children. Basically, I love hearing from everyone.
Some might call me nosy. Perhaps I am, but honestly, I am interested in what's going on in the lives of those whom I care about. There are those who like to pretend they are too evolved for Facebook. There are those who will gladly post a million things but they "don't check their Facebook." In other words, they have no interest in what other may have to say.
Why the Facebook rant? you may be asking. Well, let me explain...to much, let me sum up (hehehe) - The other day someone that Zach knows posted a status. Very basic, very standard. He liked it, as he is prone to do. This friend of Zach's (and I hope I don't embarrass them by stating this) then commented on his wall, expressing to him how happy that "like" made them.
It can take so little to make someone's day, or to break someone's day. One little acknowledgement from someone that yes, they are here, and yes, they care about what you have to say. In a world where communication with others is mainly digital, it is so easy to reach out to others. On the flip side, its also so easy to make another feel so very alone.
It's not healthy to focus on such little things, for sure, but truth is, sometimes we do. Sometimes others do. Right or wrong, regardless of how you feel about technology, Facebook, or the internet, little acts of digital kindness can go a long way.
In other news:
Zach is preaching for our friend Travis at church today, all three services. He is nervous, but I have faith he will do wonderfully. He preaches for Wesley but this being "our" church makes things harder for him.
Last night we got to eat some delicious custard with a group from Plainview on their way to San Diego for a mission trip. It was wonderful to see their faces, kids and adults that were such big parts of our lives in Plainview. Prayers for them this week.
Summer is almost over - yikes! I'm ready for a vacation!
I must now go and get ready to go hear my best friend!
Blessings to you on this day! What acts of kindness can you find to do today?
A large number of my Facebook friends are parents. I love seeing and hearing about the antics of their little ones and not so little ones. I love seeing the photos from those who are parents to furry children. Basically, I love hearing from everyone.
Some might call me nosy. Perhaps I am, but honestly, I am interested in what's going on in the lives of those whom I care about. There are those who like to pretend they are too evolved for Facebook. There are those who will gladly post a million things but they "don't check their Facebook." In other words, they have no interest in what other may have to say.
Why the Facebook rant? you may be asking. Well, let me explain...to much, let me sum up (hehehe) - The other day someone that Zach knows posted a status. Very basic, very standard. He liked it, as he is prone to do. This friend of Zach's (and I hope I don't embarrass them by stating this) then commented on his wall, expressing to him how happy that "like" made them.
It can take so little to make someone's day, or to break someone's day. One little acknowledgement from someone that yes, they are here, and yes, they care about what you have to say. In a world where communication with others is mainly digital, it is so easy to reach out to others. On the flip side, its also so easy to make another feel so very alone.
It's not healthy to focus on such little things, for sure, but truth is, sometimes we do. Sometimes others do. Right or wrong, regardless of how you feel about technology, Facebook, or the internet, little acts of digital kindness can go a long way.
In other news:
Zach is preaching for our friend Travis at church today, all three services. He is nervous, but I have faith he will do wonderfully. He preaches for Wesley but this being "our" church makes things harder for him.
Last night we got to eat some delicious custard with a group from Plainview on their way to San Diego for a mission trip. It was wonderful to see their faces, kids and adults that were such big parts of our lives in Plainview. Prayers for them this week.
Summer is almost over - yikes! I'm ready for a vacation!
I must now go and get ready to go hear my best friend!
Blessings to you on this day! What acts of kindness can you find to do today?
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