For those of you who know me, and for those of you who have read this blog before, you probably know that I have pretty definite opinions on a lot of things. Sometimes my opinions are appreciated, most of the time they are not. I'm slowly learning to become okay with that, working hard to keep my mouth shut most of the time.
I'm also a mom. And a Christian. And, for several years, I was an employee in the church. You put all three of those together and it creates a combination of experiences that make it hard for me to keep my mouth shut in certain areas.
It's difficult being a parent. Social media has made it more difficult. I constantly see posts from other moms, on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, or what have you, with activities they are doing with their child, or are planning to do with their child. I have been guilty of thinking to myself, "I'm a terrible mother. Most days we just are trying to make it to bedtime without loosing it." I don't believe I'm alone in that. The other day I came across a post on Facebook that was something like "50 activities to keep your 1 year old entertained." My first thought was "I'm supposed to be entertaining my one-year old?" This thought was followed by a flash of mom guilt. Then I looked at my baby, toddling around the house, pulling all the magnets off the refrigerator, and decided she was doing a pretty good job entertaining herself.
It's considered a bad word in our house to say that you are "bored." When I was growing up, my mom would tell us "Only boring people get bored." When my seven year old uses that word, which she has learned to not use it often, I immediately give her all sorts of ideas of things she can do to occupy her time: clean her room, read a book, sweep the floors, etc.
When I see posts like the one I referenced above, it frustrates me. What is with our culture that makes us feel like we need to entertain our kids all the time? So many kids are growing up, not knowing how to play, to explore, to sit quietly. As I type this, my four year old is in his room, quietly coloring. Occasionally we will do a special little project, but I love that he can spend a day entertaining himself. No mom guilt here.
It's okay for our children to learn to sit quietly. I posted a link on Facebook this morning to a post entitled "Sunday School is killing the church." This post discussed the danger of having children in a service separate from the adults, never learning what it means to be a part of the Body. I have always felt very strongly about this topic. As a mom, I want my kids there beside me. I want them to learn the liturgy, to sit still, to listen, things that many of our young adults struggle with. They will learn, they will form opinions, and hopefully, when they are older, participating in church will be a part of their lifestyle. Hopefully, they will also learn, that church can be fun, at times, and those times that may not be labeled as "fun" can be very fulfilling.
Thanks for sticking with me through my ramblings. May you find joy in the simple things.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Tears happen...
I've been anticipating this week for a while now. Why? School started! Don't get me wrong, I love having my kids at home and I love being able to stay home with them. However, school starting means Zoe gets to be around other kids, something my little social bug needs. School means getting into a routine and having days with purpose. School means quieter mornings and no arguing for several hours. School means Zoe gets an opportunity to meet and make friends in this new town, this new neighborhood, this new school.
I thought I was prepared. I thought I anticipated those things that could go wrong and dampen the excitement of the first day of school. Silly mom... All it took was a shoe that didn't fit right, then a brush that was missing. Soon my happy, excited little girl was in tears. It took all we had to try and get those tears to stop, and when we finally succeeded they started back up again when Zoe thought she might be late on her first day. Finally Zach took a weepy girl and they started the walk to school, leaving an emotional and sad mother behind. Sad because my girls first morning back to school was rougher than it should of been. Sad because, for the first time, I didn't get my "back to school" pictures. Sad because, with the drama, I didn't get to properly say my "goodbyes" and "have a great first day" like I wanted to. I felt like I failed my daughter.
I was eager to go and pick up my new second grader and see how her day ended up. She had a good day. She made a new friend. Her teacher was nice. "She was very good today," her teacher said. "She's a quiet little girl, isn't she?"
What?? Zoe? Quiet? Um, no.... I've never, ever, known her to be quiet. It occurred to me then, that we hadn't acknowledged enough how difficult the move and all that it entails has been on her. Zoe has always been our resilient child, the one we never worried about fitting in with others. She is sensitive, cries easily, so it never really occurred to me that she may have been scared or nervous. She would always tell us if she were, so this time I never thought about it. Perhaps the tears weren't because of not liking the shoes or fear of being late, but stemmed from something else. Something I hadn't anticipated from this child.
My little girl is growing up. She is coming out of the stage where I knew always what she was thinking, when she was scared, because she would tell me. Sigh. Parenting just got a little bit harder.
We did take Zoe to the bookstore for her "back to school book." She picked out another Junie B. Jones book. She was happy, for a while. The stress of the day came back again later and she had a melt down of emotions. This morning was a little better. Things still weren't as smooth as we would like, that will take time I guess. I will have to remind myself often to be more aware of the things she's not telling us. Both Zach and I need to be better at seeing the whole picture, try to see it how Zoe sees it.
Isn't that what we always need to be doing? Seeing all people through eyes without boundaries, to try and see what they aren't showing us, to better understand why they react the way they react? We never stop trying to figure things out, do we?
I thought I was prepared. I thought I anticipated those things that could go wrong and dampen the excitement of the first day of school. Silly mom... All it took was a shoe that didn't fit right, then a brush that was missing. Soon my happy, excited little girl was in tears. It took all we had to try and get those tears to stop, and when we finally succeeded they started back up again when Zoe thought she might be late on her first day. Finally Zach took a weepy girl and they started the walk to school, leaving an emotional and sad mother behind. Sad because my girls first morning back to school was rougher than it should of been. Sad because, for the first time, I didn't get my "back to school" pictures. Sad because, with the drama, I didn't get to properly say my "goodbyes" and "have a great first day" like I wanted to. I felt like I failed my daughter.
I was eager to go and pick up my new second grader and see how her day ended up. She had a good day. She made a new friend. Her teacher was nice. "She was very good today," her teacher said. "She's a quiet little girl, isn't she?"
What?? Zoe? Quiet? Um, no.... I've never, ever, known her to be quiet. It occurred to me then, that we hadn't acknowledged enough how difficult the move and all that it entails has been on her. Zoe has always been our resilient child, the one we never worried about fitting in with others. She is sensitive, cries easily, so it never really occurred to me that she may have been scared or nervous. She would always tell us if she were, so this time I never thought about it. Perhaps the tears weren't because of not liking the shoes or fear of being late, but stemmed from something else. Something I hadn't anticipated from this child.
My little girl is growing up. She is coming out of the stage where I knew always what she was thinking, when she was scared, because she would tell me. Sigh. Parenting just got a little bit harder.
We did take Zoe to the bookstore for her "back to school book." She picked out another Junie B. Jones book. She was happy, for a while. The stress of the day came back again later and she had a melt down of emotions. This morning was a little better. Things still weren't as smooth as we would like, that will take time I guess. I will have to remind myself often to be more aware of the things she's not telling us. Both Zach and I need to be better at seeing the whole picture, try to see it how Zoe sees it.
Isn't that what we always need to be doing? Seeing all people through eyes without boundaries, to try and see what they aren't showing us, to better understand why they react the way they react? We never stop trying to figure things out, do we?
Her Daddy finally was able to coax a smile from her.
Book time!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Lessons in Retreat
As a lot of people who work in ministry do, we live our lives in semesters. In our house the Spring semester is our hardest time of the year. Zach is insanely busy at work which means most days the only time he sees our kids is after they are already asleep. Having lived this life for a while we realized that we need time, in the midst of the chaos, to retreat together as family. It was a year ago that we booked our weekend away and I had been counting the days.
Last Thursday we loaded up the car, checked Zoe out of school and headed up to Sacramento, NM for a couple of days of fun with the family and (per doctor's orders) some rest and relaxation. I can proudly say that our agenda was met, with a little help from our Father. He sent some glorious rain on Friday which kept this accident prone pregnant lady indoors and out of harms way.
One thing we did do, before the rain began, was take the kids up on a little hike to a place called Serenity Peak. We took our time heading up and once we got to the top, we just sat on the benches and chatted for a while. It was so serene (see what I did there?), for a brief moment.
My darling daughter of five years was always such a sweet thing. We never had to really deal with the terrible toddler years with her, just some stubbornness. It seems she was storing up all of her past tantrums to unleash on us once she started school. While she is close to perfection at school, when she comes home its battle royale time at Bechtold Manor. She chose a moment, coming down from Serenity Peak, to express this, and boy, did she express.
It started with a stumble, which lead to her standing there screaming like she was seriously maimed and refusing to take one step further. We calmly (at first) told her that she must calm down, her injury was not serious, and she could, in spite of her proclamation that she could never move again, make it down the mountain. We would take a few steps, turn wait for her, and she would scream bloody murder and take one measly little step. This continued for a while, even after her announcement that she had to potty "so bad" which, regardless of what a sane person might think, did not result in her choosing to suck it up and start walking. Finally, when mommy and daddy were close to their breaking point, little brother stepped up to save the day.
Little sweet, almost three year old Noah, looked up the hill at his big sister, screaming like a banshee, and calmly proclaimed, "I'll go get her." He trucked himself up there, gave his sister a comforting hug, took her by the hand and lead her down the hill to us. It was the sweetest sight and it humbled me.
As parents Zach and I try to teach our children to have strength, to make wise choices, and to be good examples for others. Sometimes, in the midst of these lessons we forget that we also need to teach them compassion for others, especially those who may not be receiving compassion from anyone else.
I've previously blogged about how I know I have a weakness when it comes to showing others compassion, as well as allowing myself to receive it from others. My husband preached a sermon on Sunday, which I didn't get to hear much of (pesky kids :) ) but in which he spoke about how important it is that we always show love to others and allow them to show love to us in return. It's about humbling ourselves.
Our time in the mountains was indeed refreshing, allowing us to connect again as a family and to rest our bodies, but, as usual, I came away from this time of no distractions, learning a lesson from my little ones.
May you also find time to refresh, rejoice, and perhaps, learn something...
Last Thursday we loaded up the car, checked Zoe out of school and headed up to Sacramento, NM for a couple of days of fun with the family and (per doctor's orders) some rest and relaxation. I can proudly say that our agenda was met, with a little help from our Father. He sent some glorious rain on Friday which kept this accident prone pregnant lady indoors and out of harms way.
Enjoying the beautiful weather.
Serenity Peak with the family.
My darling daughter of five years was always such a sweet thing. We never had to really deal with the terrible toddler years with her, just some stubbornness. It seems she was storing up all of her past tantrums to unleash on us once she started school. While she is close to perfection at school, when she comes home its battle royale time at Bechtold Manor. She chose a moment, coming down from Serenity Peak, to express this, and boy, did she express.
It started with a stumble, which lead to her standing there screaming like she was seriously maimed and refusing to take one step further. We calmly (at first) told her that she must calm down, her injury was not serious, and she could, in spite of her proclamation that she could never move again, make it down the mountain. We would take a few steps, turn wait for her, and she would scream bloody murder and take one measly little step. This continued for a while, even after her announcement that she had to potty "so bad" which, regardless of what a sane person might think, did not result in her choosing to suck it up and start walking. Finally, when mommy and daddy were close to their breaking point, little brother stepped up to save the day.
Little sweet, almost three year old Noah, looked up the hill at his big sister, screaming like a banshee, and calmly proclaimed, "I'll go get her." He trucked himself up there, gave his sister a comforting hug, took her by the hand and lead her down the hill to us. It was the sweetest sight and it humbled me.
As parents Zach and I try to teach our children to have strength, to make wise choices, and to be good examples for others. Sometimes, in the midst of these lessons we forget that we also need to teach them compassion for others, especially those who may not be receiving compassion from anyone else.
I've previously blogged about how I know I have a weakness when it comes to showing others compassion, as well as allowing myself to receive it from others. My husband preached a sermon on Sunday, which I didn't get to hear much of (pesky kids :) ) but in which he spoke about how important it is that we always show love to others and allow them to show love to us in return. It's about humbling ourselves.
Our time in the mountains was indeed refreshing, allowing us to connect again as a family and to rest our bodies, but, as usual, I came away from this time of no distractions, learning a lesson from my little ones.
May you also find time to refresh, rejoice, and perhaps, learn something...
Friday, August 17, 2012
Growing Pains...
Today the Bechtold Family reached a milestone. It was Zoe's first day of Kindergarten. It seems like yesterday I was thinking, after seeing posts from friends on Facebook about their little ones first day of school, that I don't know what I'll do when it's Zoe's first day. All of a sudden my little girl isn't so little anymore.
School in Las Cruces is a little different than in other places we have lived. School for the other kids began on Wednesday. The school has what's called "Kinder Transition Day" for the Kindergarten kids. On Wednesday afternoon we dropped Noah off at our friend Stuart's house and Zoe and I headed up to her new school. We had packed up Zoe's new Hello Kitty backpack with her new school supplies and she so very bravely marched into her new classroom. She shook her teacher's hand and when a comment was made about Zoe's blue eyes, she proudly proclaimed,"They're my Daddy's eyes!"
Our transition day only included 6 other students and before long Zoe was in a very animated conversation with the little girl sitting next to her while they did their craft. So quickly and easily does she make friends. We were able to tour the school, fill out the pile of paperwork, and get "tested" all in one afternoon. If possible, Zoe left that afternoon even more excited to start school than before.
Transition day.
Noah takes posing lessons from sister.
The first real day of school started this morning, on a Friday. I woke up first, put the cinnamon toast in the oven, fixed the chocolate milk, cut up the strawberries, and then went and woke up Zoe. Zoe is our little morning person. She jumps out of bed, no matter what the time, like she's coming off the bench in a basketball game.
After breakfast, getting dressed, and taking the standard "first day of school pictures" we all loaded up and drove the 15 minutes to Zoe's school. We no sooner walked up that she was off playing in the playground and once again, making new friends. In fact we had to call her back over just so Mommy and Daddy could say their goodbyes. After our hugs and kisses, Zoe ran off to play some more before the bell rang and Mommy and Daddy wiped their tears away. It was so much harder on us than her.
First day picture.
So happy...
For the rest of the day I kept my eye on the clock. I would say to myself, "Zoe's in the cafeteria now, eating lunch like a big girl," or "I wonder what Zoe's learning right now." I couldn't wait for 2:30 to come around.
Finally the time came and we were waiting outside for her to come bounding out exclaiming about what a great day she had. Noah was just as excited to see her than I was, happily taking her hand as we walked back to the car. We promptly left and took Zoe to Barnes and Noble to pick out her "first day of school book," a tradition we are starting this year, and then took her to her choice of restaurant for an early supper (she chose Olive Garden, big surprise there). After the meal we went to Hastings and picked out a movie for the evening. I couldn't keep count of how many times she, with obvious joy, shouted, "This is just the best day ever!"
A new tradition begins.
Zoe's selection. This was a very difficult decision.
Zoe's favorite restaurant.
I am so proud of my darling girl. I don't know that I could be anymore proud of her than I am. She is so much what I wish I could be, every day. Joyous, happy, sensitive, thoughtful, and curious, among other things. It's hard, seeing her so big, so smart, and not get misty eyed, but I know she is growing into such a lovely person, capable of doing so much good. I will try not to mourn her "babyhood" (if that's such a word) and instead delight in how well she's growing up...
Praying you all are as blessed as I feel today...
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Gut check...
The other day I took the kids to the doctor for Noah's well-visit. On the "well" side of the waiting area there was one other mom and her daughter who appeared to be around three years old. My kids immediately went for the basket of books and each brought me one to read, so we took turns. I noticed that little girl was interested in the story so I read a little louder, drawing an annoyed glance from her mother. The girl then went and got a book and took it to her mother, who this entire time was busy on her phone. The mother read one page and went back to doing whatever it was on her phone. The little girl just sat there with the open book in her hands looking at her mother until the nurse called them back. No lie, it kinda broke my heart.
I will be the first to acknowledge that I have used technology to escape the pressures of motherhood. There are times I get a little annoyed at my kids for demanding something of me when, frankly, I just want to check facebook, read this article, check a score, etc. Then I get a reality check and feel shame for placing all those things, which are so unimportant, before the needs of my family. What are we teaching our kids?
I came across an article claiming that American kids are found to be the most spoiled kids in the world. No shock there. It's easy to see that kids today are completely overindulged and spoiled. What shocked me, and perhaps it shouldn't of, was that in the comments to this article I guestimate that 9 out of 10 commenters, mainly mothers, admitted that they spoiled their children. They also admitted that they will continue to spoil their kids. One commenter passed judgment on another saying that anyone giving their three year old chores was cruel. Another stated that the guilt she felt for working long hours led to her spoiling her child and buying her whatever she wanted.
Wow people! What values we are teaching our children! Not only do we see what we are doing is wrong, we continue to do it! There is always a way we can justify our behavoir. That justification we do just inhibits us from bettering ourselves and being better examples for the kids.
There are many directions I could go with this but I'll stop there. I think you get what I'm trying to say. In short, give your kids what really matters, you. When they grow up and (hopefully) leave your home, they will not be lamenting over the lack of gifts, toys, gadgets they received as a child. Instead, they will realize how very blessed they were to have you as a parent.
Blessings to you and yours today....I'm going to go enjoy mine now...
Here is a link to the blog that took me to the above referenced article.
I will be the first to acknowledge that I have used technology to escape the pressures of motherhood. There are times I get a little annoyed at my kids for demanding something of me when, frankly, I just want to check facebook, read this article, check a score, etc. Then I get a reality check and feel shame for placing all those things, which are so unimportant, before the needs of my family. What are we teaching our kids?
I came across an article claiming that American kids are found to be the most spoiled kids in the world. No shock there. It's easy to see that kids today are completely overindulged and spoiled. What shocked me, and perhaps it shouldn't of, was that in the comments to this article I guestimate that 9 out of 10 commenters, mainly mothers, admitted that they spoiled their children. They also admitted that they will continue to spoil their kids. One commenter passed judgment on another saying that anyone giving their three year old chores was cruel. Another stated that the guilt she felt for working long hours led to her spoiling her child and buying her whatever she wanted.
Wow people! What values we are teaching our children! Not only do we see what we are doing is wrong, we continue to do it! There is always a way we can justify our behavoir. That justification we do just inhibits us from bettering ourselves and being better examples for the kids.
There are many directions I could go with this but I'll stop there. I think you get what I'm trying to say. In short, give your kids what really matters, you. When they grow up and (hopefully) leave your home, they will not be lamenting over the lack of gifts, toys, gadgets they received as a child. Instead, they will realize how very blessed they were to have you as a parent.
Blessings to you and yours today....I'm going to go enjoy mine now...
Here is a link to the blog that took me to the above referenced article.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Just life
Let me start out by saying I love Netflix instant streaming. This week while I have been taking it easy on my back, Netflix has been a sanity saver. Lots and lots of Bones, Psych, and the Office.
This week has been the "home-stretch" for summer. Zach has been crazy busy for work closing up the semester but tomorrow is his last scheduled event. Today the Wesley is having its first annual golf tournament. This event has been very stressful for Zach and I for one am glad to see it behind us.
Thursday night we had an open house at Zoe's new school for next year. She is so excited to be starting Kindergarten, very ready to find out who her new teacher is going to be. The idea of her starting big girl school next year makes me a little weepy so I try not to think of it too much.
Next week my little girl turns five. FIVE!! How is that possible? I asked her what she wanted more than anything for her birthday and she said, "Olive Garden." We plan to go there Thursday night as we are going to Plainview on Friday for her birthday and Mother's day. We haven't been back to Plainview since Christmas.
Last night, after a busy day full of a doctors appointment, errands, shopping, rummage-saling at church, and picking Noah up from school, Zach really wanted a nice, quiet evening to rest. He was exhausted from helping Travis move and watching the Avengers at midnight the day before. We cooked out on the grill and then treated the kids to watching a movie in the guest room before bed (we don't allow them to watch tv in there often). After months of waiting for a good time we decided to finally try and watch Money Ball. It probably took us three hours to watch the movie because of the constant interruptions from our children. After the tenth time of having to pause the movie because of the kids I could see the vein starting to pulse in Zach's forehead. He was not enjoying the trappings of parenthood in that moment. I scooped up Noah and laughing, took him to his room and put him in bed. Zach, shaking his head at me said, "I'm glad you think its so funny." My response was, "Sometimes all you can do is laugh."
I know that is a cliche thing to say but it's so true. Life gives us so many interruptions, plans get ruined, messes happen, and those moments of quiet and rest we think we desperately need never seem to turn out the way we want. We can choose to let those moments bring us down or we can laugh, shake it off, and keep on trucking.
Here's to some calm during the noise of life, but if that doesn't happen, here's to a sense of humor to keep us sane...
This week has been the "home-stretch" for summer. Zach has been crazy busy for work closing up the semester but tomorrow is his last scheduled event. Today the Wesley is having its first annual golf tournament. This event has been very stressful for Zach and I for one am glad to see it behind us.
Thursday night we had an open house at Zoe's new school for next year. She is so excited to be starting Kindergarten, very ready to find out who her new teacher is going to be. The idea of her starting big girl school next year makes me a little weepy so I try not to think of it too much.
Next week my little girl turns five. FIVE!! How is that possible? I asked her what she wanted more than anything for her birthday and she said, "Olive Garden." We plan to go there Thursday night as we are going to Plainview on Friday for her birthday and Mother's day. We haven't been back to Plainview since Christmas.
Last night, after a busy day full of a doctors appointment, errands, shopping, rummage-saling at church, and picking Noah up from school, Zach really wanted a nice, quiet evening to rest. He was exhausted from helping Travis move and watching the Avengers at midnight the day before. We cooked out on the grill and then treated the kids to watching a movie in the guest room before bed (we don't allow them to watch tv in there often). After months of waiting for a good time we decided to finally try and watch Money Ball. It probably took us three hours to watch the movie because of the constant interruptions from our children. After the tenth time of having to pause the movie because of the kids I could see the vein starting to pulse in Zach's forehead. He was not enjoying the trappings of parenthood in that moment. I scooped up Noah and laughing, took him to his room and put him in bed. Zach, shaking his head at me said, "I'm glad you think its so funny." My response was, "Sometimes all you can do is laugh."
I know that is a cliche thing to say but it's so true. Life gives us so many interruptions, plans get ruined, messes happen, and those moments of quiet and rest we think we desperately need never seem to turn out the way we want. We can choose to let those moments bring us down or we can laugh, shake it off, and keep on trucking.
Here's to some calm during the noise of life, but if that doesn't happen, here's to a sense of humor to keep us sane...
Monday, April 9, 2012
Simple things...
When you think of your childhood what memories stick out in your mind about your parents? For me I will always associate my mother with her hands, holding them in church, playing with her rings, the smoothness of her skin, as well as the smell of her perfume. I find comfort in those memories. Not too long ago I read this blog that I found on Pinterest. The blog lists certain things that we should remember to tell our children. It was reading this list that made me think of what impressions I may be leaving on my children. What memories of their childhood and, more specifically, of their father and me, will stick with them throughout their lives? I hope that they will look back with fondness of the relationship I had with them.
I know that I fail my children daily. In fact there are moments during our day that I say something to them and instantly regret it. There is also something I am not good at doing, which is saying,"I'm sorry, I was wrong." Simple words that have a huge impact and yet they are so hard to say.
I know I need to work on certain things, certain facets of my relationship with Zoe and Noah, but I hope that regardless of anything else, they know how much I love them. I try not to let them go to sleep without them hearing, "I love you" from their mother. When Zoe is in trouble and so upset with the consequences she has incurred, I try to remember to let her know that even though I'm not happy with her behavior, that I will love her forever.
This parenting thing is hard and there are so many theories of what we should be doing. It's impossible to do everything perfect. All that we can do is to let our kids know we love them and keep on doing our best. And, when we do fail, work on that whole "apology" thing.
Blessings to you and yours my friends...
I know that I fail my children daily. In fact there are moments during our day that I say something to them and instantly regret it. There is also something I am not good at doing, which is saying,"I'm sorry, I was wrong." Simple words that have a huge impact and yet they are so hard to say.
I know I need to work on certain things, certain facets of my relationship with Zoe and Noah, but I hope that regardless of anything else, they know how much I love them. I try not to let them go to sleep without them hearing, "I love you" from their mother. When Zoe is in trouble and so upset with the consequences she has incurred, I try to remember to let her know that even though I'm not happy with her behavior, that I will love her forever.
This parenting thing is hard and there are so many theories of what we should be doing. It's impossible to do everything perfect. All that we can do is to let our kids know we love them and keep on doing our best. And, when we do fail, work on that whole "apology" thing.
Blessings to you and yours my friends...
That's love right there.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Desperately Seeking Sanity...
There's no doubt that I love my children. However, there are days where it takes extra effort to enjoy them. Anyone with me?
I know that Zach and I are hard on the kids. We expect a lot from them and I find myself constantly having to remind myself of their ages. Zoe is four, she requires some slack. I also know that they are capable of a lot and without being pushed to be better versions of themselves, they will never realize their full potential. Some of you may be thinking right now, "Gee, that's harsh," and you may be right. However, I want my kids to be polite, helpful, loving children with a servant's heart and without pushing them towards that, it will not happen.
That being said, they aren't perfect. Noah has apparently entered the "terrible two" stage prematurely and some days are extremely trying. This little man has a fury that can not be equaled, except maybe by Hulk himself. I never quite know these days what will incur his wrath, but when it happens, hold on tight. Zoe would throw fits but she was never the one to throw herself on the ground and flail about, without care to who or what may be in striking distance, so this is new territory for us. So, yes, there are days, that even though I love that I am able to stay at home with my kids, I long for someone to come and relieve me of my job. Lately, Zach has been away more than usual and I have been about to pull my hair out. There have been moments that I definitely feel my sanity ebbing and have to remove myself from my kids company.
So, with all of these trying times I realize that I have to make the effort to enjoy being around my loving children. For example, the other night Zach was once again absent from our home, leaving me the task of feeding, bathing and getting the children ready for bed. Lately, bed time has taken on a new level of effort, and frankly, I was tired of the battle. I decided to just let the kids entertain each other and wear one another out, until they were just so exhausted they begged to be put to bed (snigger). What ensued was one of the more entertaining evenings I have ever experienced with my children. Zoe took it upon herself to teach her brother some of her favorite songs (she really is a great big sister) and from there, it became quite the little production. They sang, they danced, they dressed up...pure hilarity. At one point, Zoe came out with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and brandishing a hanger saying,"I have a sword and a cape. I'm SHEERA!" If you feel so inclined you are welcome to wander over to my facebook page and watch the video snippet I caught of this evening.
Yes, parenting is hard, especially with little ones. There will be days that make you question this notion of procreating. There will be moments when you would be willing to give a weeks income for someone to please give you a few hours of quite alone time. And there will be days that you ask your husband, with only a hint of jest, if you could list your son for sale on Craigslist. In those moments I suggest to you to make the effort to put down those tasks you are constantly being interrupted from, and simply enjoy your little bundles. It may take some effort but in the end it will be truly rewarding.
Praying you see your blessings today.
I know that Zach and I are hard on the kids. We expect a lot from them and I find myself constantly having to remind myself of their ages. Zoe is four, she requires some slack. I also know that they are capable of a lot and without being pushed to be better versions of themselves, they will never realize their full potential. Some of you may be thinking right now, "Gee, that's harsh," and you may be right. However, I want my kids to be polite, helpful, loving children with a servant's heart and without pushing them towards that, it will not happen.
That being said, they aren't perfect. Noah has apparently entered the "terrible two" stage prematurely and some days are extremely trying. This little man has a fury that can not be equaled, except maybe by Hulk himself. I never quite know these days what will incur his wrath, but when it happens, hold on tight. Zoe would throw fits but she was never the one to throw herself on the ground and flail about, without care to who or what may be in striking distance, so this is new territory for us. So, yes, there are days, that even though I love that I am able to stay at home with my kids, I long for someone to come and relieve me of my job. Lately, Zach has been away more than usual and I have been about to pull my hair out. There have been moments that I definitely feel my sanity ebbing and have to remove myself from my kids company.
So, with all of these trying times I realize that I have to make the effort to enjoy being around my loving children. For example, the other night Zach was once again absent from our home, leaving me the task of feeding, bathing and getting the children ready for bed. Lately, bed time has taken on a new level of effort, and frankly, I was tired of the battle. I decided to just let the kids entertain each other and wear one another out, until they were just so exhausted they begged to be put to bed (snigger). What ensued was one of the more entertaining evenings I have ever experienced with my children. Zoe took it upon herself to teach her brother some of her favorite songs (she really is a great big sister) and from there, it became quite the little production. They sang, they danced, they dressed up...pure hilarity. At one point, Zoe came out with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and brandishing a hanger saying,"I have a sword and a cape. I'm SHEERA!" If you feel so inclined you are welcome to wander over to my facebook page and watch the video snippet I caught of this evening.
Yes, parenting is hard, especially with little ones. There will be days that make you question this notion of procreating. There will be moments when you would be willing to give a weeks income for someone to please give you a few hours of quite alone time. And there will be days that you ask your husband, with only a hint of jest, if you could list your son for sale on Craigslist. In those moments I suggest to you to make the effort to put down those tasks you are constantly being interrupted from, and simply enjoy your little bundles. It may take some effort but in the end it will be truly rewarding.
Praying you see your blessings today.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Back in the saddle...
Its been a while since my last post as my computer has bit the dust. I have mourned it's loss greatly, commandeering zach's iPad when he's not playing words with friends or perusing facebook. The entire family has spent the time since Christmas battling the flu and a cold that wont go away, while also trying to get back into the swing of work and school. I have spent my down time and sleepness nights in regular Mikel fashion, that is dwelling on things outside my control and having imaginary conversations in my head. I have also spent the time surfing the web, at least the web that my phone will allow. There have been many things that I have come across that has spurred the "wheels" into action that I felt warranted a blog post.
Last night on Facebook I came across a picture that I have seen before and I'm sure you have too. This picture dipicts the difference in education between today and x many years ago, making the point that today's parents are more inclined to blame the teacher when their child fails. The picture I saw last night however, had one addition, the word "Ego" boldly written below the illustrations, as an explanation of the true problem with today's parents.
Brilliance! That one, tiny little word explains it all. I see it all the time with parents, this unwillingness to admit that their child is in some way imperfect which may imply that they are not, in fact, a perfect parent, as they would like the world to believe. I get it, I really do. There is so much comparison going on among parents, each spouting that their way of parenting is the only way. I say, embrace your imperfections in parenthood. I'm well aware that there are people out there who criticize the way I am willing to vent my frustrations with parenthood. Some may say that i should just be grateful that I have two healthy children and quit my complaining. Well, I complain for a few reasons: first, if I don't vent about them, i run the risk of venting to them; second, it helps to know that whatever problem you may be having, you are not alone; and third, it keeps me grounded, because, no matter how bad I feel my children are being, it could always be worse.
The past few weeks have been trying for me. I haven't felt well and neither have my kids. Noah has a cold, a terrible diaper rash, and is teething, creating days that are long and exhausting. On top of that, Zach is going out of town tomorrow for the second weekend in a row. Yes, parenting is hard, and I am far from perfect at it. However, I am reminded of a quote I heard some where, "If you don't view parenting as a near impossible task, you probably aren't doing it right."
That said, I want to make it clear that though I know I am far from the perfect parent, I am constantly striving to be better. I owe my kids that much. They didn't ask to have us as parents and they deserve the best of us. Also, acknowledging my own weaknesses means I also have to acknowledge my children's weaknesses, which is necessary if they are to grow and better themselves.
Blessings to you all...
Last night on Facebook I came across a picture that I have seen before and I'm sure you have too. This picture dipicts the difference in education between today and x many years ago, making the point that today's parents are more inclined to blame the teacher when their child fails. The picture I saw last night however, had one addition, the word "Ego" boldly written below the illustrations, as an explanation of the true problem with today's parents.
Brilliance! That one, tiny little word explains it all. I see it all the time with parents, this unwillingness to admit that their child is in some way imperfect which may imply that they are not, in fact, a perfect parent, as they would like the world to believe. I get it, I really do. There is so much comparison going on among parents, each spouting that their way of parenting is the only way. I say, embrace your imperfections in parenthood. I'm well aware that there are people out there who criticize the way I am willing to vent my frustrations with parenthood. Some may say that i should just be grateful that I have two healthy children and quit my complaining. Well, I complain for a few reasons: first, if I don't vent about them, i run the risk of venting to them; second, it helps to know that whatever problem you may be having, you are not alone; and third, it keeps me grounded, because, no matter how bad I feel my children are being, it could always be worse.
The past few weeks have been trying for me. I haven't felt well and neither have my kids. Noah has a cold, a terrible diaper rash, and is teething, creating days that are long and exhausting. On top of that, Zach is going out of town tomorrow for the second weekend in a row. Yes, parenting is hard, and I am far from perfect at it. However, I am reminded of a quote I heard some where, "If you don't view parenting as a near impossible task, you probably aren't doing it right."
That said, I want to make it clear that though I know I am far from the perfect parent, I am constantly striving to be better. I owe my kids that much. They didn't ask to have us as parents and they deserve the best of us. Also, acknowledging my own weaknesses means I also have to acknowledge my children's weaknesses, which is necessary if they are to grow and better themselves.
Blessings to you all...
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Let's agree to disagree...
Many of my blog posts take shape in my mind while laying in bed unable to sleep. I get a thought, think "I should blog about this" and proceed to "write" the blog in my mind, further prolonging sleep. Isn't it amazing, that even when we realize that what we are doing is stupid, we continue to do it?
Last night I was thinking about a conversation we had with some friends a while back. We were talking about birthdays for our children and I made the comment, somewhat out of jest, that Zach and I are all about setting the bar very low. Meaning, if my kids aren't used to ever getting anything nice, they wont ever come to expect it. Now, even though that comment was made jokingly, it still rings true. It's no surprise that we don't have a lot of money. I mean Zach works in ministry and I am a stay-at-home mom. We love what we do. I love staying home with my children and having the flexibility to do different things. The flip side is we live on a very limited budget. We think it is worth it, others may disagree.
Years working with teenagers have proven to me that so many kids these days are terribly over indulged. They are given whatever they want and are constantly going and doing. As a result, many of these kids are impressed by nothing. We found when planning Youth trips and activities that many of our suggestions were met with disdain because how could an inexpensive weekend trip to the lake compete with tv, xbox, extravagant trips, etc.
Since we do not have the funds to plan expensive trips or meals out we have had to be a little more creative when finding things to do as a family. We have found it is not too difficult to spend a Saturday enjoying our family and not have to spend much, if any, money. I hope that this is also teaching my children to appreciate the little things.
I find it somewhat disturbing though to realize that few share my ideas on this topic. Many parents are under the impression that to be the best parent, they need to provide their children with all the things they missed out on as a child. Now, let's be clear, I love my children and I want them to be happy. I want to be able to take my children places and create loving memories with them. I struggle ever year with what to give my kids for Christmas and their birthdays and would love it if money weren't an issue. However, I do not honestly think that they are suffering because they will never have a bouncy house at their birthdays. I hope instead, that they can look back, thumb through the scrapbooks I lovingly keep, and know that they were loved. Know that their parents made a lot of effort to spend loving time with them. And to know, that while we never had a lot of money like other families, that they did have their parents there with them. There is nothing wrong in working hard and providing for your children, but for many, the money and possessions seems to take the place of parenting. The idea to provide the best in material wealth vs. the idea to spend time together.
I am reminded of a quote I heard on the Today Show interview with reality tv star, Kate Gosselin, when asked about doing something outside the realm of the public eye :
Last night I was thinking about a conversation we had with some friends a while back. We were talking about birthdays for our children and I made the comment, somewhat out of jest, that Zach and I are all about setting the bar very low. Meaning, if my kids aren't used to ever getting anything nice, they wont ever come to expect it. Now, even though that comment was made jokingly, it still rings true. It's no surprise that we don't have a lot of money. I mean Zach works in ministry and I am a stay-at-home mom. We love what we do. I love staying home with my children and having the flexibility to do different things. The flip side is we live on a very limited budget. We think it is worth it, others may disagree.
Years working with teenagers have proven to me that so many kids these days are terribly over indulged. They are given whatever they want and are constantly going and doing. As a result, many of these kids are impressed by nothing. We found when planning Youth trips and activities that many of our suggestions were met with disdain because how could an inexpensive weekend trip to the lake compete with tv, xbox, extravagant trips, etc.
Since we do not have the funds to plan expensive trips or meals out we have had to be a little more creative when finding things to do as a family. We have found it is not too difficult to spend a Saturday enjoying our family and not have to spend much, if any, money. I hope that this is also teaching my children to appreciate the little things.
I find it somewhat disturbing though to realize that few share my ideas on this topic. Many parents are under the impression that to be the best parent, they need to provide their children with all the things they missed out on as a child. Now, let's be clear, I love my children and I want them to be happy. I want to be able to take my children places and create loving memories with them. I struggle ever year with what to give my kids for Christmas and their birthdays and would love it if money weren't an issue. However, I do not honestly think that they are suffering because they will never have a bouncy house at their birthdays. I hope instead, that they can look back, thumb through the scrapbooks I lovingly keep, and know that they were loved. Know that their parents made a lot of effort to spend loving time with them. And to know, that while we never had a lot of money like other families, that they did have their parents there with them. There is nothing wrong in working hard and providing for your children, but for many, the money and possessions seems to take the place of parenting. The idea to provide the best in material wealth vs. the idea to spend time together.
I am reminded of a quote I heard on the Today Show interview with reality tv star, Kate Gosselin, when asked about doing something outside the realm of the public eye :
"Well, it's a situation where Jon may be accepting of mediocre for his kids and working a regular job. I want the best for my kids and the best opportunities not unlike every parent," Kate said during a Monday morning appearance on NBC's Today show. "I think that to be a good parent is to work as hard as you can and give them the best opportunities in life, and this has provided that."
Let's just leave it at I disagree.
On more Bechtold news, yesterday Zoe had her well-visit with our wonderful new pediatrician. Zoe is in the 95% in height and 50% in weight. She's a tall girl! She also got her shots and was so good and brave, Zach and I were both so proud of her. Noah starts going to daycare one half-day a week beginning this Wednesday. I am excited for him. I believe that there is a definite benefit for a young child to be in daycare around other kids. They seem to learn so much more.
Work for both of us is going great. We are coming down off a busy weekend for Zach so he took a mental health day yesterday. We just relaxed, caught up on some tv that we were weeks behind on, and got take-out chinese.
I have been watching tons of baseball (just another benefit of being home during the day ;) ). I am so excited about the World Series. I like the Cardinals but they don't hold a candle to my Rangers.
Thank you friends and family for enduring my ramblings... Love to all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)