I hate to complain via the internet but it's been a rough week for me. I've been struggling with back pain for over a year after injuring it trying to move to New Boston and have been visiting a chiropractor twice weekly for a while now. After every visit I hurt more and after my visit on Tuesday was laid up in bed for three days. That's a hard thing for anyone, especially one with two small children who, because when it rains it pours, have both gotten sick. Zach has been able to be home a little more and that has been most helpful. However, he's gone today, and although I am feeling better, today is very difficult for me. You see, it was this time last year, as I was waiting for Zach to come home from Upwards basketball so we could meet some friends in Texarkana for lunch, that I started bleeding and would soon learn the pregnancy I had been 10 weeks into was ending. In the quiet moments yesterday and today I am taken back a year ago and the next thing I know my face is wet with tears. I mourn that life that never was and the dreams I had that never came to realization.
It's a difficult time and I certainly wish Zach was home with me instead of on yet another Wesley trip, but I know this too shall pass. I will get through this day, just like I was able to get through the days that I endured a year ago, consumed with pain, more intense than I've ever experienced. I will hold my children tight, tend to their needs and try not to think about the sibling they will never know.
The Lord has blessed me, and He will carry me through today, just as He has every other day. Thanks be to Him...
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