Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What's your calling?

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?  My precious Zoe has started a list of her future careers that keeps getting longer and longer.  To name just a few, she wants to be a superhero, a princess, an artist, a teacher, and a veternarian, among other things.  When I was little I loved to read.  The greatest of days were library days.  A trip to the mall without a stop at the bookstore was just torture.  The local used bookstore was my sanctuary.  I dreamt of becoming an author, penning my own books someday.  Unfortunately for me it became clear quite early that my talents did not lean that way.  I was destined to be a lover of books but not a maker of books. 

Once I came to accept this fact I decided to become an elementary school teacher.   That was going to be my future.  Then I went to college where I went to observe my first class of first graders and left a few hours later with a migraine.  I remember thinking with horror, "There is no way I could do this day after day."  And with one afternoon my future was suddenly unclear.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I tried several majors, the last being religion.  I enjoyed the learning part but when faced with deciding what path to take after graduation nothing seemed appealing.  Despite encouragement from others I knew the path to seminary was not for me.  Certainly I could have made a decent career out of something but my heart would not be in it.

For years I floated from one area to the next, working in medical offices and a law office, even working in the school system as an aide to determine if maybe I could be a teacher after all.  There were facets of all my jobs that appealed to me and other parts that I hated.  I still hadn't found my calling.

Until, that is, we moved to New Boston and we were unable to secure child care. Suddenly I was thrust into the role of stay-at-home mom.  It was difficult and trying and Zoe and I had to learn how to be around each other all the time.   I got an insight into what life will be like with my daughter when she becomes a teenager (oh my!) and a balance had to be found.  After a few months though life became easier and here we are, more than a year later, and I love what I do.  Sure, it's a career choice that makes certain things more difficult, we don't have money to blow and I don't have much time that I am around adults, but I wouldn't trade this time with my children for anything.

I know that eventually I will once again be forced into the real world of working people and no, I'm no closer now to knowing what I want to do, but I have found my calling.  I am meant to be a mother.  My kids are not my identity but right now I know, without a doubt, that the most important thing I can do is be there for them.  I know that's probably not true for everyone, but it is for me. 

Now, having said all that, I would love to return to school.  I think studying history would be great and, after much research, I believe I could find a job that I could really enjoy.  For now, however, I am going to enjoy every moment that I can in the career I am so blessed to have.

Now, for an update on what's happening over here at Bechtold Manor:

Zach has been very busy, running a middle school camp a couple weeks back, and leaving Sunday for a week long mission trip to Denver.  There have been many late nights for him.  Thursday we headed up to Sacramento, just down the road from Cloudcroft, for a one night getaway in the mountains.  It snowed on us the entire time but it was so wonderful and relaxing.  We are already looking forward to our next visit up there.

Pretty serene, don't you agree?

On Friday Erin came to visit on her spring break.  We had so much fun shopping, having Friend's marathons and talking.  My parents are planning to come at Easter and we are so excited.  I have been referred by my chiropracter to physical therapy for my back in hopes that I can find relief that way but because of Zach's busy schedule (someone has to watch the kids after all) I have not been able to go.  I know my limits physically and that has helped somewhat. 

Life is good and God is great.  Blessings to you all.

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