Sunday, April 22, 2012

I got the joy, joy, joy...somewhere I'm sure...

I usually write when I find myself dwelling on a certain subject or make an observation that I feel bears recording.  It's more of a therapeutic exercise than an expectation that someone reads my thoughts and gains anything from it (though it's a bonus, for sure).  I haven't written lately though because I haven't had the time or energy to dwell on anything but living.  I know we all get that way.  We become consumed with living and we forget to enjoy our life. 

But, isn't it funny, that when I try and look back over the past week or so I can't recall anything that kept me from enjoying life, or should I say, not an activity or event that kept me from finding my joy.  Joy is always there, a quality of life that, for some, is harder to recognize than some other quality.  I'm one of those people.  This may come as a shock to some of you (does sarcasm relay in print?) but I am a pessimist.  In fact, I believe I have spoken before about this trait of mine I have to endure.  It's a part of who I am that I have prayed to have changed.  I would LOVE to be a natural optimist, someone who goes through life with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  I am SO not that person.  I am a sarcastic, realist/pessimist, that has to make a continual effort to plaster that smile on my face (not always a successful effort, mind you).  So, I can choose to love myself as myself, trying to make positive changes in who I am, or I can choose to dislike who I am and therefore, dislike my life.  I choose the former.  I am who I am.

Life has been difficult lately.  There hasn't been that catalyst or a life-altering event that has occurred.  Just life and all it's toils.  I have two beautiful children that have very strong personalities and are in stages of their development that can make reasoning with them more difficult than usual.  We, as parents, have had to take a step back and reevaluate how we are choosing to handle those difficult situations and make some changes.  This parenting thing is all about adjustments, don't you agree?

We will get through this time, we already are on the uphill side of things, and life will be full of joy again.  I know that, I have faith in that.  Sometimes we just need a little reminder...

Blessings to you on this day.

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